Home Run Derby

Did Queer Eye for the Straight Guy do a makeover for Roger Clemens lately?

Seven-time Cy Young winner and Mitchell Report namee Roger Clemens showed up at a Houston Rockets game last night.  Wearing a hat I wouldn’t put on a dog. 

Seriously – a pastel green and blue argyle baseball cap?  Who the heck makes that anyway? 
And what man would even consider wearing it? 

I mean, besides Roger Clemens, obviously.   I wonder if there’s an Erasure song (or five) on Clemens’ iPod.

Mind you, some Baseball teams think you’ll wear Argyle caps. 

This one from the New York Yankees is actually pretty sharp. 

Keeping the Bombers’ color scheme works really well on that cap. 
The same cannot be said for the following monstrosities …
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Fire up the Wayback machine – set for fifteen years ago … 1994.  

When Michael Jordan tried his hand at baseball. 

In 1993, Jordan threw out the first pitch before Game One of the American League Championship Series between the Sox and Blue Jays.  It was the first pitch of an interesting footnote in Jordan’s legacy.

Sometime during the game, Jordan’s agent told Bulls (and White Sox) owner Jerry Reinsdorf that Jordan was about to retire.  And during the game … that rumor spread to everyone watching on television. 

A few days later … Jordan held a press conference saying he was done with basketball.  His father had been murdered over the offseason.  During the 1993 NBA playoffs, the media had scrutinized MJ’s gambling habits … and Jordan needed time away.  Stating he wanted to spend more time with his family … Jordan shocked the world … and was done.

But like most professional athletes who say that they’re retiring to spend “more time with their family” – Jordan was looking for something to do.  And … Michael Jordan came back.  But not in a way anyone ever anticipated.  

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Here’s a Chicago Tribune picture of proud parents Brian and Lauren Clark, showing off their bundle of joy …
Addison N. Clark

Awwww, how cute. 
Wait a minute … what was that name?  Addison N. Clark?   As in Addison and Clark – the streets around Wrigley Field?  

I’ve never understood Cub fans who name their children after Wrigley Field.  Yet they continue to do so.  Naming your dog Wrigley, I can see that.  But your child? 

ADDISON N. CLARK – Born 12/19/2008 to Brian and Lauren Clark of Plainfield, Ilinois.  Full name – Addison Nicole Clark.

 Somehow father Brian got this name approved by his Lauren and her family of White Sox Fans from the South Side of Chicago.  In unrelated news, the Chicago White Sox have officially asked that family to turn in their White Sox caps.

Here’s some more kids named after the Friendly Confines …

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Every once in a while, umpires’ uniforms just don’t seem to make it to the ballpark with the umpires. 

UniWatch covered the subject pretty well nearly 4 years ago (that Paul Lukas is always ahead of the game).

One such occurence happened on April 17, 1987 … during a game between the Montreal Expos and Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field, the umpires’ gear somehow got lost at the airport.  Naturally the host Cubs were generous enough to outfit the boys in blue.  It just happened to be Cubbie Blue. 

Now this was a classic game.

• Not because you got to see the late Eric Gregg get his 300 pound frame dressed up in spare Cubs’ catching gear
• Not because the Expos were wearing Powder Blue (we love the Powder Blue uniforms)
• Not because Rick Sutcliffe (one of the best beards in baseball) was on the mound …
• Not because the Cubs beat the Expos 7-0

But because comedian Bill Murray was guest-announcing the game while Harry Caray was recovering from a stroke.  

You can imagine the fun Murray had with the umpires’ uniform shenanigans.  Especially the behemoth that was Eric Gregg.  

Roll the video …

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I saw this license plate the other day and wondered what Hawk Harrelson was doing at my local Wal-Mart.

Seriously?  The TV announcer for the White Sox drives a Ford Fusion?  I mean, I understand that he might not have enough scratch to drive White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle’s big ass truck, but come on.

I’m just kidding.  That’s not Hawk Harrelson’s car. 

It’s probably Darrin Jackson’s.

Home Run Derby will be represented tonight at 9PM Eastern by Richie Rich (that’s me) in the Sports Blogger Debate Tournament over at Sports2Debate.  We’re about to get spanked in the East Bracket by the guys over at The On Deck Circle.

Head over to Sports2Debate and see what happens.

Last week, we showed you an outdated portrait of Aaron Heilman at Safeco Field (who now plays for the Cubs) that needs to be taken down.

This week we’re going to head to San Francisco to peek at a Hot Dog Menu at AT&T Park.  You tell me what’s wrong with this picture …

First of all … $6.75 for a freakin’ plain Hot Dog?  Sweet Merciful Crap. That is just criminal.  I’d have to get Federal Bailout Money just to eat lunch at AT&T Park.  I don’t even want to know how much the Dungeness Crab Sandwich costs at the Crazy Crab stand at AT&T. 

Second … what in the Hell is SWISH Cheese?   You know -scratch that – I really do not want to know.  Seems kinda apropos for San Francisco, mind you … not that there’s anything wrong with that.  That typo might make sense if Nick Swisher played for the Giants.

And what the Hell is a “San Francisco Dog?” 

Swiss Cheese, Sauerkraut, Onions, Pickle, and Thousand Island Sauce.  When did this strange combo of a Reuben sandwich and a Hot Dog become the “San Francisco Dog?”  Has anyone ever had one of these things?  Please tell me this abomination isn’t any good … if you’re willing to admit you paid $6.75 for one, that is.

Thousand Island Dressing on a Hot Dog.  Only in California. 

I’m trying to decide what’s the bigger desecration to a Hot Dog … Ketchup or Thousand Island Dressing. 

Or paying $6.75 for one.

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If this keeps up, I’m going to have to add a “Sign of the Week” category alongside ”Jersey of the Week.”

Whatever happened to Jersey of the Week anyway?

So the Milwaukee Brewers published their 2009 Promotional Schedule.  I always like to see if there are any good bobbleheads on there.  The Brew Crew usually gives away some good ones, like Bob Uecker or the Racing Sausages.

Here’s the Brewers 2009 Bobblehead giveaway schedule …

• May   3 – Ryan Braun
• May 31 – Trevor Hoffman
• Jun 28  – Jason Kendall
• Aug 30 – Jeff Suppan
• Jul 26 – Bratwurst (Racing Sausage!!)
• Sep 20 – Doug Melvin, Brewers GM

All those bobbleheads will have something in common.  Even the Bratwurst.

They’re all white.  Just like the rest of Wisconsin.

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So Roberto Alomar’s ex is suing the former ballplayer in a $15 million lawsuit, alleging that the 2010 Hall of Fame candidate has “full blown AIDS” and knowingly had unprotected sex with her.

Predictably, Alomar has denied the allegations, calling them “full of lies” and that he is in “very good health.” 

He has not said anything about whether he has HiV.

If the allegations are not true, I wonder if Alomar’s current girlfriend (Maripily Rivera) is the reason behind his Ex’s accusations.

From the Toronto Star:

Recent photos of Alomar show him to be presumably healthy. Shortly after his alleged breakup with Dall last October, reports in the Puerto Rican media linked him romantically with a high-profile model there, Maripily Rivera, described by some as that island’s equivalent of Paris Hilton. The pair, according to sources in Puerto Rico, went to Miami earlier this week.

Jilted ex?  New hot girlfriend?  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Rivera seems to think so …

Maripily Rivera claimed that when Dall broke up with 12-time All-Star Alomar in October, she told him: “I will destroy you.”

Picture from Vocero. 

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