Home Run Derby

Earlier this year, Eddie Vedder - the lead singer of Pearl Jam and a former Chicago native – released “All the Way” – a catchy Irish Drinking Tune about the Chicago Cubs fans and how somehow, someday, the Cubs will win the World Series.

Here it is …

Pretty good. 

But as a lifelong Cub fan, I cringed a mighy shiver when I heard that song.  In my gut I knew that we could kiss the Cubs 2008 title hopes goodbye. 

And lo, combined with the Cubs’ pre-playoff cover of Sports Illustrated … the Cubs’ futility ododmeter across from Wrigley rolled over to 100.

Well, last night (11/19/08) during a break at the Smashing Pumpkins show at the Chicago Theater, lead singer and fellow Cub fan Billy Corgan waxed poetic about the Bears winning the Super Bowl in 2012, Mike Ditka coming out of retirement, and his beloved Cubs, while getting in some digs at White Sox fans – telling them to stay the F*ck out of his Cubs Fan conversations.

Then Corgan said that he might write a song about the Cubs …

God Bless Steve Goodman, but I think I can do better than ‘Go Cubs Go’

Really – I’ve been called a lot of things, arrogant is one of them.  I don’t think this is arrogance.  I think I can top ‘Go Cubs Go’

Still on the subject of Cub-themed songs … Corgan did what someone should have done a long time ago … he blamed Eddie Vedder for the Cubs’ 2008 playoff collapse. 

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Jersey of the Week Time!!

Recently, we’ve had a lot of JotW’s that don’t have any fabric … the Brewers Chest Hair Guy, the Bodypainted Female Phillies Fan (NSFW) , and last time – the Blue Jays Streaker who covered up his privates with a Foam Finger.

We’ll continue that trend with this guy, who always wears a Barry Bonds Jersey … because it’s tattooed on his back.

Where’s the Bacne?

Honestly, I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.

And this guy’s made a video explaining it. Plus he shows off his autograph collection of Apollo 13 stars and Professional Poker Stars.

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Yesterday, Boston Red Sox 2B Dustin Pedroia was named the 2008 American League MVP by the Baseball Writers Association of America.
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So in Pedroia’s honor, here’s a few things that rhyme with Pedroia (it helps if you use a Boston accent) …

HOYA- The Mascot of the University of Georgetown

GOYA - Famous Spanish painter Francisco Goya.  Also a brand of Mexican Foods.

CARLOS MOYA – Former #1 Ranked Professional Tennis Player

OSCAR DE LA HOYA – Mexican-American Boxer, “The Golden Boy”

LATOYA – A girl’s name, typically African-American. Most notably singers Latoya Jackson and Latoya London.

And now the Boston language kicks in … pronounce the “er” as an “ah” …

JAMIE MOYER – Philadelphia Phillies Pitcher. Pedroia is 0-2 with a walk and a stolen base against him.

DESTROYER - A Navy battleship.

LAWYER – An attorney.  “I got busted, I need a Loy-yah”

VERNE TROYER - Played “Mini-Me” in the Austin Powers movies; about the size of Dustin Pedroia.

FOYER - A hallway or a corridor. I saw Pedroia in the Foy-ah.

This post was inspired (okay, ripped off) from Fitzy’s “Rhymes with Pedroia” Challenge from last August.  I came up with seven of them myself before Googling “Rhymes with Pedroia” and finding out that somone had done this in a stand-up act already. 

I thought I was being all original and clever too.  Rats.

You can watch Fitzy’s routine after the jump … but there’s a bunch of nasty language in this clip, so don’t play it at work, okay?

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Japan has given the world some pretty good baseball players …

Ichiro, Wally Kaname Yonamine, Hideki Matsui, Kosuke Fukudome (jury’s still out) and the legendary Sadaharu Oh (and his World Record 868 Home Runs – suck it Barry) come to mind.

But none of them did anything as cool as this guy …

Watch as this martial arts master shows some incredible baseball skill by hitting a baseball with a pair of nunchaku.

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The “CC” in CC Sabathia used to stand for “Carsten Charles.”  Or maybe “Captain Cheeseburger.”

The New York Yankees want to change it to “Cha-Ching”

This past Friday, the New York Yankees offered CC Sabathia a six-year, $140 Million contract to anchor their starting rotation and help bring a World Series Championship the Playoffs back to the Bronx.   The offer is $40 million more than the five-year, $100 million offer he reportedly received from the Brewers to stay in Milwaukee.  And it would be the largest pitching contract in the history of Major League Baseball, besting the $137 million Johan Santana received from the New York Mets last offseason.

No other team is going to exceed (or even match) the Yankees contract offer.  The Brewers can’t do it.  Sabathia’s preferred home-state Dodgers and Angels won’t do it either.  They’ll be looking for a discount … and the Yankees’ monster offer might prevent the LA teams from even entering the bidding.  The Yankees have basically made this into a pissing match … and they drank the most beer before the contest started. 

But I think it would be a bad idea for Sabathia to sign with the Yankees … 

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This is the last post on the White Sox-Yankees trade … maybe. 

At least I won’t be talking about Nick Swisher in it … D’OH!

All right … let’s talk about one of the players the White Sox got in return - Backup First Baseman Wilson Betemit

I came across this statement attributed to White Sox GM Kenny Williams after the trade went down on Thursday …

Betemit hasn’t lived up to his billing since becoming a prospect in Atlanta’s organization at 16, but Williams believes he could blossom thanks to his adjustment to prescription goggles.

You have got to be kidding me. 

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Words have a funny way of biting people in the ass.  Or their Pujols.

In 2006, Ryan Howard won the National League Most Valuable Player Award … prompting runner-up Albert Pujols to say the following …

“I see it this way: Someone who doesn’t take his team to the playoffs doesn’t deserve to win the MVP“

Pujols had the sour grapes in 2006 after leading his St. Louis Cardinals to a World Series Championship while Howard’s Philadelphia Phillies didn’t make the playoffs.

Fast Forward to today … Albert Pujols won the 2008 NL MVP, beating out runner-up Ryan Howard.  Howard’s Phillies won the World Series while Pujols’ Cardinals didn’t make the playoffs.

OOPS. You can’t write this stuff any better.

I would love to hear Pujols say “I really don’t deserve this” when he accepts the award. Even though I think Pujols is 100 times more deserving of the 2008 NL MVP than Ryan Howard.

By being named MVP, Pujols will get a $200,000 bonus from the Cardinals, per his contract.

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Yesterday, the New York Yankees traded for 1B Nick Swisher.

A lot of people wondered why the Yankees would trade for a player who batted an embarrasing .219 last season (a sub-Mendoza .191 after the All-Star Break, and got worse in Sept – .164), who has a stupid-looking beard and a goofy “I’m Super!! Thanks for Asking!” demeanor that probably wouldn’t fit well in the Yankees’ stoic and professional clubhouse.

Well, a quick perusal of Nick Swisher’s Web site might give us the answer why.  

Swisher’s apparently all chummy with the heaviest pitcher to win the Cy Young Award … and the biggest prize of the 2008 MLB offseason …

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The Yankees did a public service today for everyone who watches baseball when they traded for White Sox OF/1B Nick Swisher.  

Why?

Because now we won’t have to look at Swisher and his ludicrously stupid beard anymore.

Since the Yankees have a policy of “No Beards” … that means we won’t be seeing this offense to facial hair anymore.

And it definitely means we won’t see Swisher do his pink goatee thing at Mother’s Day either.

And since the Yankees made Jason Giambi and Johnny Damon shave off their beards … you know they’re serious.

Now, Swish seems to have fun with this stuff and always seems to be looking for ways to raise money for charitable causes (he grew out his hair for cancer patients)- so watch for him to partner with a razor company when he shaves it off.

It’s possible this trade was made because Swisher has been known to hang out with the Yankees’ #1 offseason target … CC Sabathia.

I wonder if Umpbump (the champions of unfortunate facial hair) will beat me to this post.  By the way … I’ve made it clear that I like Baseball Beards.  Just not that one.