Home Run Derby

The Madison Mallards of the Northwoods League (a summer collegiate baseball league) are hosting an 80’s night tonight. 

On hand will be former child star Gary Coleman.  That’s no big deal. 

Kind of a little deal, if you ask me.  Like 4 foot 8 inches.

But the Mallards are going to offer Gary Coleman a contract to appear in tonight’s game. 

“As the Mallards prepare for the playoffs we feel that we need a special player to help put us over the top,” said GM Vern Stenman. “Gary brings a lot of intangibles to the field and I feel like his presence would help invigorate our club as they get ready for a run at a championship. You can’t coach a strike zone like Gary has and I anticipate him being a force at the top of our lineup.” 

“I feel like he could develop a couple different strokes to rule the Northwoods League,” said Manager CJ Thieleke.

Wat’choo talkin’bout, Willis? Is this the little leagues or the minor leagues?
Will he be playing SHORTstop?

If he plays, he’ll lead off as the Designated Hitter.

Now, Coleman’s had some issues with his finances over the years, so I don’t tthink he’ll accept the contract when he finds out that the Mallards can’t pay him anything to play.  Amateur baseball league, don’t you know.

The Mallards could always just hire him as a Security Guard.

Somewhere, Eddie Gaedel is laughing.  So is Bill Veeck.

UPDATE (5:21PM CDT):  Coleman will bat leadoff.  He’ll do it.

UPDATE (8/2/08): Coleman was ejected from the game for having a corked bat. VIDEO right here.

A couple weeks ago, the Indy Star released some pics of some of the sightlines in the Indianapolis Colts’ new home, the Lucas Oil Stadium.

About 200 of them aren’t that great … and not because they’re a quarter-mile from the field – you try to see around those pillars right there.  The Colts have said that they won’t sell those seats, which begs the question, why bother putting the seats there in the first place.

Obstructed view seats have become rarer thanks to new-fangled stadia without support beams.  But there’s still some really bad seats around Major League Baseball.  Let’s take a look at some of the worst seats in baseball.

Wrigley Field, Chicago Cubs
When the stadium is the oldest in the National League, you’re gonna have some seats that modern architecture would be ashamed of.  Especially when there’s something like 60 pillars holding up the upper deck and the roof. 

You know the saying “Good Seats are still available at Wrigley Field?”  These are the seats they’re talking about.  I’ve had one of these seats before.  I didn’t sit there – there were better seats in standing room. No wonder 10-year old kids drink beer at Wrigley.

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