Home Run Derby

  OK, the season is now 22 games old for the Nationals (13.6% of their games are already played), and as of today, they are the worst team in baseball (as the Greek predicted in our 30 in 30 feature) with a record of 6-16.  For a team that won it’s first three games this season, that record is “remarkable” for all the wrong reasons.

How scary is it, by the way, that Christian Guzman leads the team in Home Runs, Runs Scored, Batting Average, OPS, SLG, Total Bases, Hits and Triples.  Let me repeat, Guzman leads the team in Home Runs with two (Shared with Nick Johnson, Austin Kearns and Ryan Zimmerman). Uggh.

A quick perusal of Nats team stats.

• Last in the NL for Batting Average, Slugging, OPS. 
• 14th for Runs, OBP, and Quality Starts. 
• 13th for ERA, WHIP, Saves. 

Where does that leave this team?  Straight to Suckville.   Just another name for the Worst Team in Baseball !  

This team needs to break out the Bull Durham special.

Start breathing through some eyelids, wear the garter (just remember, the flower goes in front, big guy), and when all else fails get Crash to deliver a rain out.

Also remember that HRD predicted that the Nats would go 0-18 vs the New York Mets this season.

In the four games played against the Mets, the Nationals have scored a total of 6 runs to the Mets’ 21, en route to an 0-4 record. 

That’s 4 down and 14 to go for the boldest, most improbable prediction of all (0-18).

Most of the time you see a video of heckling at a Major League Baseball game, the fans are giving it to a player, whether he be an outfielder or the bullpen catcher.  There’s usually some profanity or something witty (or not so much) bantered about until the player acknowledges them.

But how often do you see a Major League player giving it to the fans? 

Here’s Joe Smith, a relief pitcher for the New York Mets, throwing some vulgarities towards the Bleacherites in Left Field at Wrigley on Tuesday, April 22 …

… Oh yeah, be warned … because Joe Smith has a potty mouth. 

“You ain’t shit.  You got nothin’.  I’m in the big leagues, you idiot.  I’m right here” or something like that.  I love it.  I’m not so sure Mets management will dig it - but it was Cub fans and not Met fans.

No word if Cincinnati Reds announcer Marty Brenneman sent Smith a fruit basket after the game.

Mind you, Smith gave up three hits and a run over 2/3 of an inning in the game and the Cubs went on to win 8-1 and sweep the Mets in the two-game series.

A two-out Grand Slam to turn a one-run deficit into a three-run cushion in the top of the seventh defines clutch …

… and Bobby Abreu wears the clutch hat for a night as the New york Yankees beat the Chicago White Sox at US Cellular Field.

But hey, you don’t need to read me babble about it …

Get the word right from the horse’s mouth.

It’s tough to tally a Home Run when the ball doesn’t leave the yard.  You’ve got to get some combination of a lucky bounce, outfielder futility, or wicked speed to get an inside-the-park Home Run.

Last night, Jayson Werth had a combination of the three as the Philadelphia Phillies beat the host Colorado Rockies.

HRD Contest Standings are updated. 

We’re through three weeks and Jo-Jo the Idiot Boy (65 HR) extended his lead over second place No One of Consequence (62 HR).  But Jo-Jo had better keep his eyes on the rear-view mirror … as Oaktags and Poker Pals have lept from the scrum to tie for third place (60 HR).

Best week went to the aforementioned Oaktags with 26 Home Runs followed closely by Poker Pals and WeisOne with 25 HR.  Worst week was a three-way tie between Croatian Sensation, Team Minivan, and Kirbyton Krushers with 9 HR.  Krushers fell from third place to a eight-way tie for 27th - things move pretty fast around here.

The most improved teams from last week were the Barmesian adversaries, Dial 8 for Jeter and WeisOne with a net increase of 11 HR.  The biggest slide went to Evil Toast (-9 HR) who had the best week in week two.  Like I said … thing move pretty fast.

Stud of the Week

Chase Utley

You hit five Home Runs in a week for 32 Home Run Derby teams and you are definitely the Stud of the Week. 

Last week, Utley hit .391 with 5 HR and 8 RBI.  He’s an early season MVP candidate for the Phillies.

Who’s Hot

• Manny Ramirez (4 HR) - Is it a contract year or something?  You bet it is.
• Chipper Jones (4 HR) - Batting .458 for the season too.  Might miss some time with a quad injury.
• Derrek Lee (3 HR) - This season he’s got Average (.364) and Power (7 HR)
• Jim Thome (3 HR) - If not for the catwalk, that Friday night Homer might have put a hole in the roof at the Trop.
• Joey Votto (3 HR) - Two of those HR came at Wrigley.
• Richie Sexson (3 HR) - But still batting perilously close to the Mendoza line.
• Marisa Miller - Threw out the first pitch at Wrigley on Friday.

Who’s Cold

• Mets named Carlos - Two piddly HR and a .234 Average between Delgado and Beltran.
• Guys named Troy - Tulowitzki and Glaus have hit no Home Runs in 2008.

There were a few Home Run of the Day candidates from last night’s Met-Phillies game. 

But Chase Utley’s second Home Run of the night gave him the most Home Runs in the Majors …  so it gets the HRoD.

Utley now has eight Home Runs to go with his .351 average (10th - NL), .432 On-Base Average (11th - NL), .797 Slugging (1st - MLB), 1.229 OPS (2nd - MLB) and 17 RBI (3rd - NL).

If he keeps it up … Utley could easily keep the trophy for the National League MVP in Philadelphia.

This just in …

Jim Thome is really strong. 
I mean really strong. 
Hercules Strong. 
In fact, I am pretty sure he could beat up my dad. 
With one hand tied behind his back. 

In case you missed it, Thome jacked a three run bomb in the third inning today off of Tampa Bay rookie Jeff Neimann.  The Home Run tied Thome with Mel Ott for 21st all-time with 511.

Here’s what made this the Home Run of the Day.  It smacked the catwalk over the right field bleachers.  Even Jim Thome said it might be the longest Home Run he ever hit. 

The official measure was only 418 feet, but that was because it’s trajectory was stopped cold when it hit the catwalk. 

As always, MLB’s video embedding sucks, so go to the ESPN highlight (MLB prohibits ESPN from making their highlight reels available for embedding).

But in honor of the catwalk shot, let’s go back to bad music videos and remember this one hit wonder and his song about the catwalk!

In this crazy YouTube world we live in … you always need to remember to look for a camera before doing anything … shall we say … potentially embarrassing?

That goes double if you’re a professional baseball player. 

Triple if you’re a future first-ballot Hall of Famer like San Diego Padres pitcher Greg Maddux, who got caught in the dugout the other day … digging around.

And it wasn’t his nose.

I know there’s lots of crotch grabbing and adjusting in baseball (HRD did a big post with lots of pictures) … but there’s a line between adjusting and doing something else.   When your hands are down your pants … I think you’re crossing into “something else.”

And Maddux pitched the bottom half of that inning!  I hope he washed his hands.  Then again … maybe that’s why Maddux has such great control on the mound.

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It’s about time, you big, fat, wonderful vegetarian.

Milwaukee Brewers’ 1B Prince Fielder hit his first Home Run of the season yesterday, and it was a beauty in St. Louis.  After doubling in the tying run in the eighth inning, Fielder came up again in the top of the tenth.  In his 54th at-bat of the season … Fielder finally looked like the man that hit 50 Homers last season.

Before Fielder’s post-game press conference, Joe Dillon jokingly yelled “Prince had steak and eggs for breakfast!”  He didn’t.  It looked like Fielder used Dillon’s bat to hit the Home Run.

Before you blame Fielder’s vegetarianism for his slow start, keep in mind that he warmed up slowly last season as well.  And then he went HR-crazy in May 2007.

The worst part about that Home Run is that Fielder did it with his pants long enough to stretch under his heels. 

Which means we’re probably done seeing Fielder wearing the Babe Ruth knickers he sported a few weekends ago.