So I read the other day that the Japanese professional baseball leagues are going to try to shorten their games this season. They’ll do it by making teams switch from fielding to hitting in no more than 2 minutes and 15 seconds as well as limit the time between pitches to 15 seconds when no one is on base.
Why?
To help fight Global Warming.
As part of the fight against global warming, Japanese professional baseball has come up with a plan to shorten its games and reduce carbon dioxide emissions at stadiums. Teams will aim to cut playing time by six percent, or 12 minutes …
Why six percent? Well, that’s what Japan pledged to cut their greenhouse gas emissions between 2008 and 2010 under the Kyoto Protocol. And it sounds as if Japan needs all the help it can get in meeting that goal … which is why Japanese baseball is making this gesture. According to the article, baseball games result in the emission of …
… a huge amount of carbon dioxides to be discharged through the use of energy to move players and spectators, supply electricity for lighting and other purposes.
They forgot to mention all the gas emissions caused by the mass consumption of nachos, sausages, peanuts, and beer consumed at baseball games.
Do they eat that kind of food at baseball games in Japan?
Mind you … if shortening the length of baseball games is a quick fix to help in the fight against global warming, I have a simple solution …
Stop Steve Trachsel from pitching anymore.

Baltimore Orioles pitcher Steve Trachsel is often referred to as “The Human Rain Delay” because he takes so much time between pitches. Don’t believe me? I present evidence …
Slowest Worker Ever
Slow Hand Trachsel
Human Rain Delay
Trachsel has been known to visualize every pitch before he throws it. This can really slow a ballgame down. In the 1998 Wild Card tiebreaker game between the Cubs and Giants, Trachsel pitched 6 1/3 of the most deliberate innings ever. He pitched great (1 hit with 6 K and 6 BB) and the Cubs made the playoffs … but wow, did that game take forever. Three hours and 40 minutes for a 8.5 inning game.
And now, Trachsel has a starting gig and has assumed a mentor’s role in Baltimore, where he’s teaching the art of pitching to the young hurlers on the Orioles. Hey Trachsel – this season’s already going to be a long one for O’s fans … don’t make it any longer. Steve Trachsel’s slow speed makes for good concession sales, but he’s apparently bad for the environment (if the Japanese are to be believed.)
I guess we’ll never see Trachsel pitch in Japan. Or be seen in the same room as Al Gore.
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