Home Run Derby

Some chilly Opening Day in April you may find yourself in a box seat (and a friggin’ parka) watching your favorite baseball team take the field for the first time that season … and want a beer.

Some hot, sunny afternoon in July or August you may find yourself sitting in the outfield bleachers cheering on your hometown boys of summer (even though they were all butmathematically eliminated a month ago) … and need a beer.

Some weeknight in October you may find yourself braving the steep slant of the Upper Deck to watch your favorite team play its first game in the League Championship Series … and want a beer.

You know who will be right there for you on those days and every other game inbetween? That’s right. Your Friendly Neighborhood Beer Vendors. These guys (and gals) are there – FOR YOU.

Vendors are like Postal Workers – except they always deliver something you want .. not those pesky Credit Card Applications, Bills, or Summonses. And they come to YOU so you don’t have to get up out of your seat during the middle of an inning to buy the next round because some idiot spilled your beer.

Let’s take a look at some of these Heroes in Action …

Let’s start at Cleveland’s Jacobs Field, where a vendor is sherpa’ing some frosty cold brew to the top of what must be Mount UpperDeck. I hope this guy gets tipped well – I think Vertigo is grounds for hazard pay.

Next let’s go to Wrigley Field, where the Chicago Cubs’ Beer Vendors have the Beer Vendors Assocation and their own baseball cards and everything … Here’s a beautiful example of the double pour.

I’ve seen a triple pour executed and I heard about some guy years ago in the Dominican Republic with polydactyly who was working on a quintuple pour – okay maybe not … But think about it – El Pulpo would have made a mean Beer Vendor.

You know, you can get thirsty in the hot desert air of Spring Training … here’s an awesomely chatty vendor doing everything he can to sell beer at Tucson Electric Park during a White Sox Spring game. Bonus – you get a Jim Thome Home Run on the side.

But sometimes vendors can talk too much while trying to hawk the suds. Talking takes away from pouring. Sometimes it’s refreshing to hear a vendor just offer what he’s got and not over do it. This guy is famous for just that up in Toronto. This guy’s great.

ICE … COOOLLLD … BEEER. Anybody thirsty yet?

First Round’s on you.