Kali Speta!! It is time for Gyros Thursday! And before we get started, big time props to HRD proprietor Richie Rich for his first exclusive. Way to get the site some traffic, and make me laugh my ass off as well. That has earned you a month of no “where is the HOF” jokes. With that out of the way, let’s get dinging.
DING: Politics are not playing a role in this comment, but FOX sucks. We get it - Barry Bonds and his steriod enhanced body are approaching the all-time Home Run record. That fact aside, since he is still 10 Homers away, do we really need to break into the local market game to show each one of his at bats? Since he has hit 11 Home Runs 32 games into the season, it will be the end of June before he breaks the record. Do I really have to watch six more weeks of this Barry intensive coverage? I think I would rather watch a WNBA game.
Ding: Speaking of Barry Bonds, remember we he looked like this? He doesn’t either.
 
Some Day Barry, years from now you will look in your lap and wonder what happened to your nuts. Enjoy the HR mark you waste of talent. It must feel rewarding to be the most hated superstar, EVER. Even more than my boy A.J. Pierzynski - not that he is a superstar, but he hated none the less, just ask Ozzie.
Ding: David Wright homers since last week … 1 in 31 at bats. I warned you last week, now it is official, you are dead to me.
Ding: It not even that challenging to make fun of the Komodos anymore. Sorry Buddy, but your team is going to have to try harder to even make a mention in Gyros Thursday.
Ding: In case you are wondering, Clint Barmes is hitting .255 in AAA-Colorado Springs. He does have 9 hits in 30 at-bats since he was sent down. Not to be out done, Derek Jeter has 15 hits in 37 at bats during the same time, against major league pitching. Any comments, Bill?
Ding: Back to Vernon Wells a minute … OK buddy, you are pretty funny, but do you realize that you hit more than twice as many Homers last year as of this date (9 to 4). I don’t have you, but I am sure Justin Morneau’s BS MVP would like you to heat up. On a side note, Vernon is Vernon Wells III, so to borrow one of my favorite golfer nicknames (Chuckie Three Sticks aka Charles Howell III, who is a bastard after screwing my fantasy golf pick for the Zurich Classic, but that is whole other story, and a different sport to boot), I will now refer to him as Vernie Three Sticks.
Ding: Derek Jeter’s Hot Girlfriends will return next week.
Ding: It’s pretty funny that Justin Morneau’s BS MVP doesn’t have Justin Morneau on his squad. It’s appropriate but still funny.
Ding: And to end this week’s edition, back to Richie’s efforts on the Vernie Three Sticks Story, I watching one of my favorite shows last night, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, when I see him talk about his top three news makers of the day, and Vernie Three Sticks comes in at #3. Then low and behold there is a picture of the ball complete with a credit at the bottom: “Credit: Homerderby.com” Richie you have made it big time buddy. Just stay off the worst person in the world list.
And with that my friends, I bid you all Yasso! I hope that you all hit a Homer today.
To preface this story, it should be noted that the tickets my buddy Tom and I got for the fateful game were tickets that we traded in from the cancelled Indians 2007 home opener, which took place on a blizzard-like afternoon on April 6, 2007. Pics of Tom and I from that game (which never existed) are attached. Another memory that we’ll not soon forget.
That Wednesday night (5/2/07) was a chilly night by the lake, but the excitement of 2007 Tribe baseball was keeping us warm. There was a slim turnout to root on the Tribe for their 8th series win in their first 9 series of the season. The hometown fans in the center field bleachers were pulling hard for their team. But my friend Tom and I also had another agenda; getting into the head of Vernon Wells, Toronto’s center fielder.
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