Archive for May 2nd, 2007

Here we are on May 2nd, with the El Guapos leading the pack. How do we deal with a renegade like El Guapo?

El Guapo rules Home Run Derby through fear and terror

You go out and get help. And there is only one way to deal with El Guapo, you call the Three Amigos.

The Three Amigos will save Home Run Derby! 

You all remember the mantra of Lucky Day, Dusty Bottoms and Ned Nederlander.

“Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.”
“Wherever there is suffering, we’ll be there.”
“Wherever Liberty is threatened, you will find ….”
“THE THREE AMIGOS”

howard.jpg luckyday.jpg the part of Lucky Day (Steve Martin)

will be played by Philadelphia Phillies slugger

Ryan Howard

morneau.jpg dusty.jpg and the part of Dusty Bottoms (Chevy Chase)

will be played by Minnesota Twins slugger

Justin Morneau (and his BS MVP)

cabrera.jpg ned.jpg and the part of Ned Nederlander (Martin Short)

will be played by Florida Marlins slugger

Miguel Cabrera

It will be the performance of these three derby players that determine the fate of the teams chasing the El Guapos (they are not on his roster).   The other key player is Chipper Jones, who is cast in the role of El Guapo.  His ten homers to date is the key reason for El Gaupo’s lead.  So watch out for the singing bush and the invisible swordsman, and hum a few bars of Blue Shadows, while we wait for the arrival of the Three Amigos.

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Everyone’s been talking about Alex Rodriguez this spring.  But Chipper Jones is a Man on Fire.

Jones started the season off mediocre by batting .269 and slugging a paltry .308 with zero Home Runs and only one Extra-Base Hit in his first 7 games.

But since then, he’s the hottest slugger in the Major Leagues.

The Sweet Swing of Chipper Jones

In his 19 Games since April 11, Chipper Jones has …

  • .333 Batting Average
  • .821 Slugging Percentage (2nd best in MLB)
  • 1.243 OPS 
  • 10 Home Runs (best in MLB)
  • 7.80 AB/HR Ratio (2nd best in MLB)
  • 20 RBI (2nd best in MLB)
  • 17 Extra-Base Hits (best in MLB)

And he’s really on fire the past two nights vs the Phillies - going 4 for 7 with 3 Home Runs.

Any wonder why the El Guapos are on top of our Home Run Derby Standings?

In Spring Training – people had written this guy off for Dead after a couple injuries.

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The Count - Five Home RunsIt’s me … The Count, live from from the Carpathian Mountains.  You remember me from Sesame Street, yes? 

Well I’m here today to count ze Home Runs hit by StoneCutters in ze Home Run Derby last night!

Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah … I love bats … especially ze Baseball Bats.  Count with me !

SorianoONE StoneCutter …

Alfonso Soriano

First 2007 HR and his first as a Chicago Cub

Craig MonroeTWO StoneCutters  …

Craig Monroe 

Home Run #2 – he leaves the StoneCutters

Griffey JrTHREE StoneCutters …

Ken Griffey Jr.

Home Run #2 – he leaves the StoneCutters

Jacque JonesFOUR StoneCutters …

Jacque Jones

First 2007 HR

David Wright - FINALLYFIVE StoneCutters …

David Wright gets his first 2007 HR. 

Now, stop posing for pictures and video game covers, stop showing up on TRL and Letterman (and ESPN commercials while you’re at it), and start hitting more Home Runs you pretty-boy!

FIVE STONECUTTERS … Ah Ah Ah Ah

Standings have been updated.

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