Home Run Derby

Kali Speta!!  Just in case you are wondering what raw Gyros looks like, this is it on the left. Now that your appetite is going, let’s take a look at what’s on the plate.

Ding: Apparently Man-Ram did not like his appearance in Gyros Thursday last week, because he has responded with a couple of dingers. Now if he could only hit a cut-off man.

Ding: It seems like some of the Home Run hitters (Pujols, Ortiz, Hafner, Thome) are starting to find their stroke. Maybe they can help Mark Teixeira find his. Two years in a row with a crappy start … maybe he isn’t holding the Rangers hostage after all.  Careful Mark, Boras may drop you.

Ding: I called out the Komodos last week and they came back with a “oh yeah, well just you wait…” I give them credit, it is hard to talk smack when your firmly cemented in 39th place. Bad News for the Komodos, 38th place (3 back) is farther away than DFL (2 ahead). Worse News: Mike Piazza is still on your team.

Ding: David Wright Watch: 76 at bats and still no homers. JACKASS!!  I think we should rename the Stonecutters … David Wrights.

Ding: Best team name: Morneau’s BS MVP.  I could not agree more.  That bastard (along with the aforementioned David Wright) are the biggest reasons for my fall from 1st Place to 3rd Place in the second half last year.  Morneau hit just 11 HR after the all-star break, and a pathetic two HR in 115 September At-Bats.  That’s right, our AL MVP saw 63 other AL’ers hit more home runs in September than him, including the likes of Corey Patterson (3 in 44 at bats), Bengie Molina (5 in 72) and Greg Norton (5 in 83).

Ding: OK, this is a little off topic, but people who play Wheel of Fortune have to be the stupidest people on the earth.   It seems anytime I accidentally come across this show flipping channels, I inevitably see a contestant have the following type of board: TH_  P_OPL_’S  _OU_T , and show out “I would like to buy an E, Pat.” To which I shout out … way to waste $250 you dumbass!  Spin the wheel and call out C or R and then solve the damn puzzle.

Ding: Derek Jeter vs Clint Barmes Watch. Since the Barmes call-up Jeter 15 hits – Barmes 2. I think I will keep my money on Jeter.

Ding:  Speaking of Derek Jeter, I would like to introduce a new feature to Gyros Thursday (that’s right three weeks in and we are already introducing new features).  Since Richie is dedicating time to profile baseball cheerleaders to shamelessly find ways to pimp traffic, I figure I can help the cause with looking a player’s girlfriends/wives/etc.  And what a better way to start that with one of the many ladies in the Derek Jeter Fan Club, Ms. Jessica Biel.

Until next week my friends, Yasso!!  And for a little more Ooopa (aka Jessica Biel) check out some pics after the jump.

Show Me Jessica!

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I think I speak for 30 Home Run Derby contest entrants and Fantasy Baseball Enthusiasts everwhere when I say  …

It’s About Time.  82 AB for Derrek Lee to hit his first Home Run of the season was just way too long.

Do it Again.

 

Prince Fielder sure likes taking the drive South on I-94 to get to Wrigley Field to play the Cubs …

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Through twelve career games at Wrigley Field, Fielder has hit seven (7!) Home Runs with a 6.43 AB/HR Ratio. His seven Home Runs are the second most ever hit by a Brewer at Wrigley (tied with Bill Hall and Richie Sexson).

That’s the best AB/HR for a Brewer ever at Wrigley. And that includes Cub Killers like Jeromy Burnitz, Richie Sexson, and Carlos Lee when the played with the Brew Crew.

And they seem to come in bunches. Fielder has three multi-homer games at Wrigley in his short career. In fact, his only single-HR game at the Friendly Confines came last night. In two games at Wrigley this season, he’s got three Home Runs and a wicked 3.67 AB/HR ratio.

Hey Pinella – walk the big guy this afternoon.

We’re about 20 games into the 2007 baseball season, so let’s look at two teams who have failed to live up to expectations so far this season. They’re kind of a study in opposites. Both were expected to do well, both have hitters doing things their fans never expected, and they’re both in last place.

The New York Yankees, the prohibitive favorites in the American League East, are 8-11 and in last place in the division. They haven’t recovered from being swept in Boston for the first time in 17 years and just dropped two more to Tampa Bay.

Former Yankee Pariah Alex Rodriguez is having the best April EVER for a major league player and they can’t seem to ride it to victory after victory.

But A-Rod can’t score more runs than the Yankee pitching staff can give up. Pitchers have been injured (Mussina, Wang, and Pavano) or ineffective (back-to-back-to-back-to back Wright) So here comes rookie pitching phenom Phil Hughes to debut and save the day.

- Sounds like a Cub strategy to me.

… speaking of The Chicago Cubs, they were expected to contend in a weak National League Central, but find themselves at 7-13 and in last place in the division and only one game ahead of the pathetic Washington Nationals for last in the National League.

The Cubs were expected to be an offensive juggernaut (on paper) with a healthy Derrek Lee, a wealthy Aramis Ramirez, and the 40/40 free agent, Alfonso Soriano. The offense was supposed to compensate for a suspect pitching staff once you got past the Cubs’ assumed ace, Carlos Zambrano.

The Cubs have been getting good pitching (7.8 K/9, 3.84 ERA) but can’t seem to score enough runs to win low-scoring games. The Cubs have lost all seven games they’ve played which have been decided by 2 runs or less while outscoring their opponents by four runs. And Zambrano has been anything but the Cubs’ ace with a 6.91 ERA and a 1-2 record through five games.

- Meet the New Cubs – Same as the Old Cubs.

Which team can turn it around?

A-Rod’s current pace of 100+ HR and 300+ RBI will surely slow down when other teams decide to stop pitching to him. If the rookie Hughes can make an immediate impact and give the Yankees some time to get back to full strength on the mound – the Yankees have a chance. It’s early and the Jays, Orioles, and Rays aren’t for real.

The Cubs’ pitching staff is going to get worse as the temperature rises and opposing offenses start to click. If Soriano, Lee, and Jacque Jones can start hitting with some power (they have zero HR between them) and Zambrano starts acting like he really wants a Zito-like payday – the Cubs have a chance. It’s early and it’s a weak division.

Welcome to the marauding invaders from that site of all sites, the mightly DEADSPIN !  I wonder which Baseball Cheerleading post got linked – Team Fredbird, Marlins Mermaids, or the Pad Squad – hmmm.

We’ve got Scotty giving the site all she’s got to keep up. 

If you’re here for the first time, there’s more than just cheerleaders here.  Thanks for visiting. 

Come back soon.

Twins CF Torii Hunter might find out the hard way what you can and can’t do in baseball.

See, Mr Hunter sent a “Thank You” to the Kansas City Royals the other day, in appreciation for when the Royals swept the Twins’ AL Central rival Detroit Tigers in a three-game set back in September 2006. The sweep helped the Twins win the AL Central.

Attached to that Thank You note were four bottles of Dom Perignon Champagne. He made the promise back in September. That seems pretty nice of Torii, now doesn’t it?

However, that runs afoul of a Baseball Rule, Rule 21-b to be exact

The rule states, “Any player or person connected with a Club who shall offer or give any gift or reward to a player or person connected with another Club for services rendered … in defeating or attempting to defeat a competing Club … shall be declared ineligible for not less than three years.”

THREE YEARS? That could be some expensive bubbly. The Royals did not open the Champagne and have agreed to return the four bottles to Minnesota. The Twins and Hunter all said they didn’t know about the rule.

I seriously doubt that the MLB will suspend Hunter for his act of generosity towards the Royals. But I wouldn’t be surprised in he gets a fine for it. Because the MLB doesn’t want to stop one of its premiere centerfielders from playing.

The story was Broken by the Cheaters Guide to Baseball.

I wonder if the NFL has this kind of rule?

Didn’t the Packers go all out a couple years back when the lowly Arizona Cardinals upset the Minnesota Vikings on the last weekend of the 2003 NFL Regular Season – allowing the Packers to go to the playoffs? IIRC – they gave Nate Poole the key to the city of Green Bay.

Wow.  Mr. April, Alex Rodriguez, did it again, going 4 for 5 and smacking two more home runs in tonight’s game vs the Devil Rays. The Home Runs set a new American League record for Homers in April (14) – surpassing Ken Griffey Jr’s 13 hit back in 1997. A-Rod also tied the all-time MLB April mark of 14 set last season by Al bert Pujols. With six games remaining in the month.

It’s also the fastest anyone has hit 13 Home Runs. Let alone 14.

But the Yankees lost their fourth straight game and dropped to 8-10 – Fourth Place in the American League East behind Boston.

A-Rod can’t pitch, can he?

Barry Bonds smacked his 6th Home Run of the season on Sunday afternoon. It was his 740th career Home Run, moving him within 15 Home Runs of Hank Aaron’s all-time career mark of 755 Home Runs.

Bonds currently has a AB/HR ratio of 7.67. He’s averaging just over three At-Bats a Game through the Giants’ 17 games (he’s played 15) so far this season.

Let’s extrapolate. At Bonds’ current pace, he’ll need about 123 AB to hit 16 more Home Runs and set a new Record at 756. That’s about 40 games. Provided that he continues to hit Home Runs at his current pace and sits most of the Giants’ day games, Bonds will be in the vicinity of 755 and 756 in mid-June.

• June 11-13: vs Toronto
• June 15-17: at Boston (VERY short RF porch)
• June 18-20: at Milwaukee
• June 22-24: vs NY Yankees

Make your travel plans accordingly.

The most baseball drama would come if Bonds is sitting on breaking the record before heading to Milwaukee for games vs the Commisioner’s beloved Brewers and where Aaron used to play. Selig’s head might explode if he had to preside over the eventual HR torch-passing in his home town.

Of course, Bonds could prefer to surpass Aaron in San Francisco in front of his fans rather than in front of a crowd which could be hostile.

The fine folks over at Umpbump recently said that the Florida Marlins were one of the smartest teams in baseball (two championships in 15 years of existence kinda proves it – whatever reasoning there might be) … take some time and read Umpbump’s thoughts on the matter, and then come back here … (please come back here)

I agree with them – the Marlins are freaking brilliant – but for totally different reasons …

Yep – The infamous Marlins Mermaids  – Since we started the MLB Cheerleader team profiles, everybody keeps saying …

• When are you going to profile the Mermaids?
• Hey – the Marlins have some cheerleaders
• Have you seen the Mermaids? They’re freaking hawt! (That guy was from Southie I think)

Well, wait no further, because after the jump … are the Marlins Mermaids. (more…)