Home Run Derby

Every time Major League Baseball comes out with more camoflague hats, more USA Flag hats, more green hats (for Earth Day or St Patrick’s day), more black caps (Just Ditch It), or those FABULOUS pastel argyle Yankee hats like Roger Clemens wears, MLB continues to bastardize and trivialize its iconic logos inthe pursit of more merchandising dollars.

I thought I had had enough.  Until …

I was perusing MLB.com because I was looking to buy my 9-week old son a Cub hat (just a plain stinking blue one like they wear on the field) … and I came across this monstrosity called the New Era “Watermelon Smoothie.”

Perhaps at first glance you might say, “Big deal, it’s a Pink hat for little girls”

But look closer – there’s cutesy little Watermelons on that cap.   Next, scratch one of the little Watermelons on your computer screen, press your nose against it, and take a whiff.   Okay don’t – the internet isn’t yet adapted for you to get the full effect of the scratch and sniff technology in that cap.

Let me let that sink in.  It’s a scratch and sniff hat. 
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So it’s been a few weeks since we did a Jersey of the Week post here at Home Run Derby.  So we’ll make it up to you.  With a bunch of them. 

And all of them pertain to one of our favorite baseball-related activities. 

Drinking.  Sometimes, just going to a baseball game isn’t enough.  You’ve got to get your drink on. 

And unfortunately for some people … sometimes that isn’t enough either … sometimes people are going to be loudmouth, stumbling drunks while they’re at it.  If you’re going to do that … at least have the courtesy to pre-identify yourself as such …. by wearing a personalized Jersey which lets everyone know that you’re going to be … that guy.

We’ll start off early in the game, where this White Sox fan is going to let everyone know what he wants.

Gotta tell ya – I like that Jersey a lot.  I saw it on TV last season … and danged if someone didn’t capture it.

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Baseball players are a superstitious lot.   So it’s no wonder only a handful have ever donned unlucky #13 on their jersey.

In honor of this Friday the Thirteenth, Home Run Derby honors the men who haven’t been afraid to wear the “unlucky number.”  Without further adieu, here’s HRD’s All-Thirteen Team … and you guessed it – there’s thirteen of them.

Lance Parrish, Catcher

Big Wheel was an eight-time All Star, a six-time Silver Slugger, and won a Gold Glove at catcher for three straight seasons.  Only the second catcher to ever win a Gold Glove and a Silver Slugger in the same season (1983).  He played for five different teams as #13, but I’ll always remember him as a Detroit Tiger.  In 1982 he threw out three runners in the All-Star game.

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Did Queer Eye for the Straight Guy do a makeover for Roger Clemens lately?

Seven-time Cy Young winner and Mitchell Report namee Roger Clemens showed up at a Houston Rockets game last night.  Wearing a hat I wouldn’t put on a dog. 

Seriously – a pastel green and blue argyle baseball cap?  Who the heck makes that anyway? 
And what man would even consider wearing it? 

I mean, besides Roger Clemens, obviously.   I wonder if there’s an Erasure song (or five) on Clemens’ iPod.

Mind you, some Baseball teams think you’ll wear Argyle caps. 

This one from the New York Yankees is actually pretty sharp. 

Keeping the Bombers’ color scheme works really well on that cap. 
The same cannot be said for the following monstrosities …
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Every once in a while, umpires’ uniforms just don’t seem to make it to the ballpark with the umpires. 

UniWatch covered the subject pretty well nearly 4 years ago (that Paul Lukas is always ahead of the game).

One such occurence happened on April 17, 1987 … during a game between the Montreal Expos and Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field, the umpires’ gear somehow got lost at the airport.  Naturally the host Cubs were generous enough to outfit the boys in blue.  It just happened to be Cubbie Blue. 

Now this was a classic game.

• Not because you got to see the late Eric Gregg get his 300 pound frame dressed up in spare Cubs’ catching gear
• Not because the Expos were wearing Powder Blue (we love the Powder Blue uniforms)
• Not because Rick Sutcliffe (one of the best beards in baseball) was on the mound …
• Not because the Cubs beat the Expos 7-0

But because comedian Bill Murray was guest-announcing the game while Harry Caray was recovering from a stroke.  

You can imagine the fun Murray had with the umpires’ uniform shenanigans.  Especially the behemoth that was Eric Gregg.  

Roll the video …

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President George W. Bush has always been a big fan of baseball.  And I suppose that means he can’t be that bad of a guy.

He’s always had a pretty impressive baseball pedigree.

• Bush played Little League baseball as a child – and is the only US President to have played Little League … more on that later.
• Bush had collected over 250 autographed baseballs while governor of Texas (probably way more now). 
• Bush’s great uncle was one of the original owners of the New York Mets … which may have inspired W to own a ballclub of his own.
• Bush was the former owner of the Texas Rangers and helped get a new stadium for the Rangers.

And quotes like this display that it’s not all for show …

“I don’t know how I fell in love with baseball, I just loved to play it. Everyone who loves baseball can remember the first time he saw the inside of a real major league park with real big-league players. It stays with you forever – the greenness of the grass, the sight of major leaguers in uniform, the sound of a big-league swing meeting a big-league pitch.”

“I never dreamed about being President, I wanted to be Willie Mays.

That man gets it.  About baseball, anyway.

So it was no surprise that he would be a familiar face at baseball games throughout his Presidency.  And now, on his last day as President of the United States … let’s look back at where Bush has been …

April 6, 2001 – Miller Park, Milwaukee, WI

President Bush and Baseball commissioner Bud Selig threw out the ceremonial first pitches at the Milwaukee Brewers’ brand-new Miller Park. 

Have there ever been two more disliked CEO’s together on a pitcher’s mound?

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We see London, we see France … we see Prince ’s Underpants!!

So last night, Prince Fielder hit a two-run Walk Off Home Run to beat the Pittburgh Pirates and kept the Milwaukee Brewers a mere one game behind the Mets in the race for the National League Wild Card (which they’re going to win).

As he rounded the bases, Fielder started untucking his shirt … which has become a victory celebration for the Brewers this season, as a tribute to teammate Mike Cameron’s working class dad (I learned that from the fabulous Uni Watch).

But as he untucked his shirt … Prince let everybody see his underwear.  Let’s tempt fate and zoom in on the waistline of baseball’s resident vegetarian fattie …

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Quick …

Who’s this female athlete throwing out the first pitch and then hanging out with Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain before yesterday’s Marlins-Diamondbacks game in Arizona?

Here’s some hints …

• She’s a 2008 Olympian
• She’s won a Gold Medal in two straight Olympics 
• She plays in a HEAVILY watched Olympic event
• She’s married to an MLB Player

So she should be easy to recognize, right?

Still can’t tell?  Here’s another hint …

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And here we go … a new feature here at Home Run Derby. 

Baseball Jersey of the Week.  We’re going to highlight the most creative personalized baseball jerseys/shirts we can find.  And we’ll start with a good one …

In honor of the continuation of the White Sox vs Cubs Interleague Series (The Black and Blue Series) … here’s a Chicago Baseball fan who apparently has two favorite players in the Windy City.  The Cubs’ Kosuke Fukudome and the White Sox’ Jim Thome.

FUKUTHOME !!

I love it.  It’s a Frankenstein-like creation.  Mind you, the name looks a little off center … but it’s pretty sharp and self explanatory to most knowledgeable baseball fans (which will exclude most of the overserved patrons in the Wrigley Bleachers during a Night Game.)

FUKUTHOME Jersey Rating:

• Cleverness: 8
• Originality: 10
• Understandability: 8

Does the guy have a matching White Sox jersey? 

Home Run Derby would love your pics for Jersey of the Week. 
Drop us a line right here.