Home Run Derby

If you didn’t know it, it’s the 20th anniversary of the movie masterpiece that is Coming to America … the film that let loose “Soul Glo” on America.  You know, the homage to Jheri Curl - that awesome, dripping wet looking ‘do from the seventies and eighties that would stain anything it came in contact with.

Baseball is often a great place to see some fashionable hairstyles and facial hair trends and it was no stranger to Jheri Curl.  So let your Soul Glow and enjoy the best curls in baseball.

Sammy Sosa

When Sosa came up with the Texas Rangers, teammate Rafael Palmeiro described him as a skinny Dominican with Jheri Curls.  Seriously … check out Sammy protecting the ‘do by barely wearing an oversized hat.  A 1-year old could knock that thing off with a sneeze.

Sammy kept the ‘do after being traded to the White Sox.  After he trimmed his long drippy locks … his power stats eventually exploded.  Call it the “Reverse Samson” effect. 

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Olé !!

During the Cubs-Nationals game on Sunday, Aramis Ramirez put on a defensive display which can only be described as Matador-like.  Because he totally got out of the way of a fast approaching bull … ball.

Bottom of the sixth, Nationals trying to extend a two-run lead.  Christian Guzman leads off with a sharp grounder to the third base side. 

Aramis Ramirez gets in front of it … but not for long.

Guzman was credited with a hit on the play, but I’d call it a Fielder’s Choice. 

Because Aramis Ramirez CHOSE to go nowhere near that ball. 

Roger Dorn couldn’t have gotten out of the way of that ball any faster than Ramirez did. 

The Cubs’ TV broadcasters (Len Kasper and Bob Brenly) did their best Harry Doyle impersonation and made it sound like Ramirez had no chance at that ball … unless he wanted a fat lip. 

They put a lot of blame on the hard dirt at Nationals Park - but hadn’t Ramirez just played 23 innings there?  I’m kinda surprised they didn’t say anything about Ramirez’ lack of technique there.

Steve Stone would have.

In your first season of little league,  one of the first things you learn is how to field a ground ball - because half the kids can’t hit one in the air.  

You’re taught to get square your body in front of the ball with your glove down and your other hand above it to help cover the ball and protect your face in case it takes a weird hop. 

Worst case, the ball hits you in the chest and you can still pick it up for the throw.

Now that we’ve identified some characters from Major League on the 2008 Cubs … I want to know who’ll play the role of Jake Taylor and have the following conversation with Aramis Ramirez.

Jake Taylor: What I was concerned with was why you didn’t come up with that grounder that Rockert hit in the 9th
Roger Dorn: It was out of my reach, what do you want me to do dive for it?
Jake Taylor: Rog, it could have meant the game!
Roger Dorn: oh come on cut the rah rah shit Taylor! Year after this I go free agent. Plus me and my agent got a couple of plans for life after baseball. So I am not about to risk major injury or displace this property for a collection of stiffs!
Jake Taylor: Ya know Dorn, I liked you so much better when you were just a ballplayer. If you wanna be an interior decorator cockfighter - now that’s none of my business.

But some of us still need this team. Now you listen to me! This is my last shot at a winner and for some of the younger guys it could be their only shot. I don’t know what happened to you. But if you ever, ever tank another play like you did today, I’m gonna cut your nuts off and stuff em down your f*ckin throat!

Which Cub has the stones to do it?

Maybe Cubs Manager Lou Piniella should just channel his inner Lou Brown and tell Ramirez to get in front of the damn ball and cut this “olé bullshit.”

We all know that Hall of Fame broadcaster Harry Caray (the Patron Saint of Home Run Derby) was a famous pitchman for beer, primarily Budweiser and Falstaff. 

And a while back we learned he was a hater of Cracker Jacks.

But did you know he shilled for Mexican Food too?

From 1980, here’s Harry Caray in a television commercial for La Preferida, a Chicago-based manufacturer of fine Mexican Foods like chorizo, salsa, jalapenos, taco shells, and beans.

Don’t talk with your mouth full, Harry.  And nice jacket.

Of course, this begs the question …

If you were a taco and you were starving …
would you eat yourself? 

I know I would.

Outside the home office of Home Run Derby, it’s gotten really freaking cold.  So let’s warm it up a bit …

Home Run Derby is proud to present the return of Porristas Mexicana de Beisbol !  Mexican Baseball Cheerleaders !

We held a vote back in May to ask our readers which Mexican League baseball team (in the Liga Mexicana) had the best Porristas or Edecanes.   The Potros (Broncos) de Tijuana won that vote - so let’s check out more of their Porristas and Edecanes. 

We’ve mentioned before that the Potros outsource their cheerleading to whatever company wants to pay for the exposure.  By my count there’s at least six different cheerleading uniforms dancing around Estadio Calimax in Tijuana.

Talk about your logo creep.

Here’s pics of another of the Potros’ porrista sponsors … and video. (more…)

Outside the home office of Home Run Derby, it’s gotten really freaking cold.  So let’s warm it up a bit …

Home Run Derby is proud to present the return of Porristas Mexicana de Beisbol !  Mexican Baseball Cheerleaders !

We held a vote back in May to ask our readers which Mexican League baseball team (in the Liga Mexicana) had the best Porristas or Edecanes.   The Potros (Broncos) de Tijuana won that vote - so let’s check out more of their Porristas and Edecanes. 

We’ve mentioned before that the Potros outsource their cheerleading to whatever company wants to pay for the exposure.  By my count there’s at least six different cheerleading uniforms dancing around Estadio Calimax in Tijuana.

Talk about your logo creep.

Here’s pics of one of the Potros’ porrista sponsors … and some video. (more…)

I really can’t explain this post any better than that title.

Let’s go South of the Border to a Minor League baseball game in the Liga Mexicana de Beisbol (LMB) where Chacho, the mascot of the Tigres de Quintana Roo (Cancun) is about to have a dance off with the bat-boy.

Did I mention the Bat-Boy is a midget? Video after the jump.
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Here at Home Run Derby, we’re not afraid to ask the really tough questions that no one else asks …

Like who would win in a Fight between El Guapo and El Pulpo?  Two cult-status relief pitchers with great Spanish nicknames and stomachs to match.

In the Red Corner - Hailing from Maraca, Venezuela, with a height of 6 feet 0 inches and a high listed weight of 250 pounds (but was NEVER even close to being that low) … The Handsome One - EL GUAPO !!

AKA - Rich Garces.  Played for the Twins, Cubs, and Marlins before acheiving cult status as a premiere set-up man for the Boston Red Sox.  He had his best season in 1999, going 5-1 with a 1.55 ERA and 33 K’s in 40 Innings.  He was a fan favorite in Boston - Fenway would shake when he ran in from the bullpen … and then the fans would help shake it.

Teammate Mike Maddux gave Garces the nickname “El Guapo” because he looked like the Villain of the same name in the movie The Three Amigos. 

Personally, I don’t see the resemblance.  But the moniker stuck for a grotesquely obese man with a cannon arm with a nickname of “The Handsome One.”  I love Baseball. 

The Red Sox had concerns about his weight and he lost a lot of it.  Unfortunately his performance plummeted along with his cholesterol.  He is currently out of the Major Leagues, but this past winter he went 3-1 with 11 saves in the Venezuelan League.  He hopes to return to the majors.

Check out that gut.  Looks to me like life has been good to El Guapo in his native Venezuela. 

In the Blue Corner - Hailing from La Romana, Dominican Republic, with a height of 6 feet 5 inches and weighing in at 235 pounds with extra fingers and toes … The Octopus - EL PULPO !!

AKA - Antonio Alfonseca.  Taken away from the Expos in the 1993 Expansion Draft, he played for five seasons for the Marlins before a whirlwind six-year journey of stints with the Cubs, Braves, Marlins, Rangers, and the Phillies.  Best season was with the Marlins in 2000 when he won Rolaids Relief Man of the Year with 45 Saves.

Nicknamed El Pulpo because of a condition called polydactyly - six fingers on his hands and six toes on his feet.  In most sports this guy wouldn’t get past tryouts.  But the sometimes freak show that is baseball embraced him.

Had a 2002 Spring Training altercation with Dale Torborg and shortly afterwards was traded with Matt Clement to the Cubs for Julian Tavarez and Dontrelle Willis.  Nice trade for the Marlins. 

In September 2003, while with the Cubs, he bumped an umpire with his gut which garnered a five-game suspension.  I wouldn’t want to be bumped by that thing.  Who knows what’s in it?

Let’s go to the career statistics …

This is a tough one.  El Guapo is a HUGE man who could probably eat the annual food supply of a West African nation in one sitting.  He has the fire of a man trying to return to the big leagues under his own terms.  El Pulpo is a man-beast who has some documented instances of violence … and has an six fingers on his hands.  No word if he killed any Spaniards.

I have to give this one to El Guapo. 

He has a ravenous fan base in the Northeast (don’t mess with Red Sox fans) whereas El Pulpo has bounced from team to team, leaving a trail of blown saves (and pissed off fans) in his wake.  He can’t count on them to have his back.

And even though El Pulpo has an extra finger (to perform an extra special Shocker) - I learned from The Princess Bride that men with six fingers on their hands are always ultimately defeated.

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Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Home Run Derby continues its celebration of the Mexican victory over French occupational forces in the Battle of Puebla in 1862. Anyone shocked that France was defeated in a battle?

And we’re gonna celebrate by showing you pictures of scantily clad cheerleaders (big shock that Home Run Derby would do something like that) who probably speak a different language than you do. Aren’t you the lucky ones?

Anyway, The LMB (Liga Mexicana de Beisbol) is a Triple-A Minor League affiliated with Major League Baseball. And they’ve been doing this Baseball Cheerleader thing for some time now. Which means they know what they’re doing - and they’re really good at it.

After the Jump are Five (again, Cinco equals Five) Cheerleading Squads I could find South of the Border …

Me Gusta! Vayamos!

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In honor of Cinco de Mayo, my favorite ethnic holiday that I have absolutely no ancestral right to celebrate (my honeymoon was in Mexico - does that count?), Home Run Derby is gonna go all out. Tortas and Cervezas for everyone!!

Arriba! Let’s get started! Mexico has a long, rich passion for Beisbol, from its own Leagues to the beisboleros who crossed the border and found success in the Majors.

Below is Part One - the Top Five Mexican MLB Hitters. Did you notice there’s five of them - for Cinco de Mayo? I’m so clever. Thank God it’s not Veinte de Mayo.

Mel Almada (1933-39) - The first Mexican ballplayer to reach the Major Leagues. Almada began his career with the Boston Red Sox in 1933 with stops with the Washington Senators and St. Louis Browns before finishing his career with the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1939. With blazing speed and a penchant for line drives, he was a respected leadoff hitter and centerfielder. During a doubleheader in July 1937, he set an MLB record by scoring nine runs - still the most runs scored by a player in a single day. Very interesting that Latin-American players were playing in America 14 years before Jackie Robinson. Lifetime .284 Batting Average. In 1972, Almada was inducted to the Mexican Baseball Hall of Fame.

Bobby Avila (1949-59) - A fan favorite in Cleveland in the 1950’s, Beto Avila was a three-time All-Star for the Indians and in 1954 was the first Latin American-born player to win the American League batting title (.341), beating out Ted Williams and Minnie Minoso - despite playing most of the season with a broken thumb. In 1953 he led the AL in fielding precentage for 2nd Basemen. Lifetime .281 hitter. After retiring from baseball in 1959, he returned to Mexico to become the Mayor of Veracruz and later the president of the Mexican League. Avila was a National Hero in Mexico and is credited with having sparked the interest in Major League Baseball in his native country.

Vinny Castilla (1991-2006) - Brought up originally by the Atlanta Braves in 1991, Castilla had his best seasons playing for the Colorado Rockies. As an inaugural member of the expansion Rockies, Castilla hit 40+ Home Runs for three straight seasons (96-98) with a career best of 46 HR in 1998. Upon returning to the Rockies he led the NL in RBI (131) in 2004. He hit 320 career HR with a career .276 batting average. He was a two-time All-Star and a three-time Silver Slugger at Third Base.

Jorge Orta (1972-87) - A two-time All-Star, Orta was a lifetime .278 hitter and finished 2nd in AL batting in 1974 with a .316 average. However - he is best known for his role in one of the most controversial plays in Major League history - during Game Six of the 1985 World Series, Orta led off the bottom of the ninth with his Kansas City Royals trailing the St. Louis Cardinals 1-0 in the game and behind 3-2 in the Series (I can hear Cardinal fans cringing already). Orta was called safe at first - but replays clearly showed him out. The Royals rallied for two runs to win the game and spanked St Louis in Game Seven to win the 1985 World Series.

“Aw - How could he (Jorge Orta) lose the ball in the Sun? He’s from Mexico …” - Harry Caray

Mario Mendoza (1974-82) - Yes, that Mendoza. The same Mario Mendoza who inspired the “Mendoza Line” for batting futility. With a career .215 batting average Mendoza was the epitome of a defensive specialist who couldn’t hit. After Mendoza’s .198 average in 1979, George Brett used Mendoza as an example of poor hitting in an interview - which immortalized the term “Mendoza Line,” but Brett also lauded Mendoza’s fabulous fielding abilities as a foil to his run at .400 in 1980. He had a career .960 Fielding Percentage at Shortstop - which is in the top 100 all-time for the position. Very interesting that Mendoza was an accomplished batter in the Mexican League (career .291 average over 7 seasons). Great page on Mario Mendoza right here.

Yes, I know it’s silly to have a career .215 hitter on a list of top hitters, but Mendoza’s anti-prowess at hitting is legendary and his skill at fielding gets him on the list.

Stay Tuned for Part 2 - The Top Mexican MLB Pitchers and very special post that only Home Run Derby would bring you in an effort to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.