Home Run Derby

This week’s HRD Wayback Machine takes up back into the 1970’s and early 80’s.  

Back then, big name sports stars weren’t lining up to do commercials for Gatorade.  Instead, they were lining up to do commercials for Aqua Velva. 

Okay, Aqua Velva looks a lot like Gatorade, but it was (still is) a men’s aftershave.  I think it was orginally meant to be a mouthwash.  Your dad probably used it.  Personally, I don’t know anyone who used that stuff.

And with the tagline “A man wants to smell like a man” … the cheese factor in the Aqua Velva spots was simply priceless.  Even worse than that Johnny Bench commercial for Bubble Fudge.

Pete Rose was the posterboy for Aqua Velva … and he wasn’t afraid to sing the Aqua Velva jingle.

The cameo by Vic Tayback (Mel from the TV show Alice) makes that whole commercial for me.

But that’s not Charlie Hustle’s best work.  Here’s Rose simultaneously taking batting practice and putting on the charm on a female reporter. 

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Fire up the Wayback machine – set for fifteen years ago … 1994.  

When Michael Jordan tried his hand at baseball. 

In 1993, Jordan threw out the first pitch before Game One of the American League Championship Series between the Sox and Blue Jays.  It was the first pitch of an interesting footnote in Jordan’s legacy.

Sometime during the game, Jordan’s agent told Bulls (and White Sox) owner Jerry Reinsdorf that Jordan was about to retire.  And during the game … that rumor spread to everyone watching on television. 

A few days later … Jordan held a press conference saying he was done with basketball.  His father had been murdered over the offseason.  During the 1993 NBA playoffs, the media had scrutinized MJ’s gambling habits … and Jordan needed time away.  Stating he wanted to spend more time with his family … Jordan shocked the world … and was done.

But like most professional athletes who say that they’re retiring to spend “more time with their family” – Jordan was looking for something to do.  And … Michael Jordan came back.  But not in a way anyone ever anticipated.  

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The Chicago Tribune has announced that the Ricketts family has won the bidding for the Chicago Cubs. 

And go figure, Jay Mariotti doesn’t like it.  In his most recent post at FanHouse, Mariotti describes how he apparently wanted (and still wants) Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban to be the owner of the Cubs. 

But since that didn’t happen, Mariotti had to first do a little name calling about Ricketts and Cub-Fandom in general …

I don’t care that the new owner of the Cubs, Tom Ricketts, met his wife somewhere in the Wrigley Field bleachers. Nor do I care that he lived every guy’s Wrigleyville dream, slumming in an apartment above a bar by the ballpark. This is just more of the same gooey romanticism that Cubdom eats from the first victory in April to the last inevitable loss of autumn — and never amounts to anything but the same “OHHHHH, NOOOOO!!!” from Ron Santo in the radio booth, echoing 101 years of agony.

We’re going to come back to this later.    Mariotti then goes on to assault Ricketts’ ownership qualifications …

What I want to know is simple and to the point: Can Ricketts and his family — best known for the TD Ameritrade discount brokerage founded by his father, J. Joe Ricketts — produce what the Tribune Co. couldn’t produce, the Wrigley family couldn’t produce and every Cubs owner since 1908 couldn’t produce? Can these people win the friggin’ World Series already? With no experience in pro sports ownership, what do they know about running a baseball franchise?  In particular, what do they know about running a franchise supported by a fanatical cult of loons, who ignore tidal waves of hopeless futility and, somehow, come back for more punishment after every October choke job?

So you need experience in “pro sports ownership” to run a successful baseball franchise?  Carl Pohlad (Minnesota Twins), Jim DeWitt (St. Louis Cardinals), Stuart Sternberg (Tampa Bay Rays), George Steinbrenner (New York Yankees), and Arte Moreno (Anaheim Angels) would like to differ.  Except Pohlad.  And only because he’s dead.

And besides, I would think “running a franchise supported by a fanatical cult of loons” would be easier than running one without said loons.  The key word is “support” – the loons pack the park nearly every game – without question.

Mariotti continues …

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So the NHL staged its now-annual Winter Classic outdoor hockey game at Wrigley Field yesterday.

I watched most of the game yesterday (MLB Network hadn’t gone on the air yet) wondering if they’d sing “Take me out to the ballgame” at some point during the proceedings …

They did.  Whereas it was pretty cool to see a ton of Chicago Hall of Famers all in the booth … but their performance made me cringe …

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