Home Run Derby

Yesterday, Home Run Derby told you about the impending Minor League Contract of former Child Star Gary Coleman.  Coleman signed a one-game deal with the Madison Mallards beofore the game last night.

Surely some hijinks would ensue.  And they did. 

Too much pine tar on your bat and superballs inside the bat will get you thrown out of the game.  Even if your at-bat is a total sham.

Here’s the video of Coleman’s “at-bat”.

Now, that wasn’t totally set up or anything. And Gary Coleman still can’t act - because he sure didn’t sell that. Heck, the lady who played Mrs. Garret was a better actor than that.

The Madison Mallards of the Northwoods League (a summer collegiate baseball league) are hosting an 80’s night tonight. 

On hand will be former child star Gary Coleman.  That’s no big deal. 

Kind of a little deal, if you ask me.  Like 4 foot 8 inches.

But the Mallards are going to offer Gary Coleman a contract to appear in tonight’s game. 

“As the Mallards prepare for the playoffs we feel that we need a special player to help put us over the top,” said GM Vern Stenman. “Gary brings a lot of intangibles to the field and I feel like his presence would help invigorate our club as they get ready for a run at a championship. You can’t coach a strike zone like Gary has and I anticipate him being a force at the top of our lineup.” 

“I feel like he could develop a couple different strokes to rule the Northwoods League,” said Manager CJ Thieleke.

Wat’choo talkin’bout, Willis? Is this the little leagues or the minor leagues?
Will he be playing SHORTstop?

If he plays, he’ll lead off as the Designated Hitter.

Now, Coleman’s had some issues with his finances over the years, so I don’t tthink he’ll accept the contract when he finds out that the Mallards can’t pay him anything to play.  Amateur baseball league, don’t you know.

The Mallards could always just hire him as a Security Guard.

Somewhere, Eddie Gaedel is laughing.  So is Bill Veeck.

UPDATE (5:21PM CDT):  Coleman will bat leadoff.  He’ll do it.

UPDATE (8/2/08): Coleman was ejected from the game for having a corked bat. VIDEO right here.

Jon Lieber’s not getting a lot of playing time this season with the Cubs … he’s only pitched 37.1 innings in 21 appearances (20 out of the bullpen for a 1.78 ERA and a 2-2 record - don’t ask about that one start). 

Because of that, there’s speculation that the 38 year old Lieber might call it quits if he can’t get a starting gig.

But that doesn’t mean he’s not getting some pitching in at Wrigley Field.  Check out this video of Lieber pitching to one of his sons (5-year old Justin Lieber) after a recent game.

Oh yeah - a warning … this is the same guy who recorded Joe Smith of the Mets swearing and heckling at some Cub fans … so get set for a lot of unnecessary commentary unlees you hit mute …

Yep.  Even five-year old lefthanded hitters can hit Lieber (for his career … lefties hit .310 against him while righties only hit .244).  Kid hit four balls out of twelve pitches that I counted - .333 average.

To Lieber’s credit, he’s putting balls right in Justin’s wheelhouse.  I think 7-year old Jared Lieber is shagging flies.

Jon might have a future as a Little League coach when his MLB career is over.  Because his kids might have a future in baseball.

I love Minor League Baseball …

You get to see washed up pros, creative hecklers, vicious bench clearing fights, smokin hot Mexican cheerleaders, and … oh, maybe some baseball, too.

There’s also a lot of players who will NEVER make it to the Show.

Let’s go to the Atlantic League (indepedent high-AA baseball) and see one of the worst pitching performances ever thrown in the history of baseball. I don’t think I’m exaggerating either.

July 2, 2007. Newly acquired Lance Odom is pitching for the Lancaster (Pa) Barnstormers against the Somerset Patriots. Bottom of the 12th inning. Game tied 6-6.

• Odom hits the leadoff man, former Met 2B Danny Garcia.
• Odom commits an error on a pickoff attempt; Garcia advances to second base.
• Sacrifice bunt; Garcia advances to third base.

And with one out and a runner on third, the fun begins. Watch as Odom tries to intentionally walk the next two batters in order to load the bases …

(more…)

I really can’t explain this post any better than that title.

Let’s go South of the Border to a Minor League baseball game in the Liga Mexicana de Beisbol (LMB) where Chacho, the mascot of the Tigres de Quintana Roo (Cancun) is about to have a dance off with the bat-boy.

Did I mention the Bat-Boy is a midget? Video after the jump.
(more…)

Suffice it say, South Atlantic League rivals Kannapolis Intimidators and the Greensboro Grasshoppers do not like one another.

Calling these two teams bitter rivals doesn’t even come close.

On Tuesday, one of the Kannapolis Intimidators (White Sox Low Class-A Affiliate) got hit in the face by a pitch thrown by a Greensboro Grasshoppers (Marlins) pitcher. Benches cleared.

All was not forgiven on Thursday night, as you’ll see.

(more…)

We don’t cover the Minor Leagues enough here at Home Run Derby …

So let’s go to an unidentified Minor League Ballpark sometime last summer to see some very unique heckling of a “pint sized player named ‘Scooter’ ” …

… by what appears to be the Bogeyman

The recipient of that barrage has got to be Kevin “Scooter” Jordan - a former 33rd round draft pick of the Boston Red Sox in 2003. He’s a “pint-sized” 5′8″ tall and weighs 180 pounds.

Last summer he was with the St. Joseph Blacksnakes of the indepedent American Association. He’s currently an outfielder with the St. Paul Saints of the independent Northern League.

Watch your back in the parking lot, Scooter. The Bogeyman is waiting to eat you.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Home Run Derby continues its celebration of the Mexican victory over French occupational forces in the Battle of Puebla in 1862. Anyone shocked that France was defeated in a battle?

And we’re gonna celebrate by showing you pictures of scantily clad cheerleaders (big shock that Home Run Derby would do something like that) who probably speak a different language than you do. Aren’t you the lucky ones?

Anyway, The LMB (Liga Mexicana de Beisbol) is a Triple-A Minor League affiliated with Major League Baseball. And they’ve been doing this Baseball Cheerleader thing for some time now. Which means they know what they’re doing - and they’re really good at it.

After the Jump are Five (again, Cinco equals Five) Cheerleading Squads I could find South of the Border …

Me Gusta! Vayamos!

(more…)