Home Run Derby

The Yankees did a public service today for everyone who watches baseball when they traded for White Sox OF/1B Nick Swisher.  

Why?

Because now we won’t have to look at Swisher and his ludicrously stupid beard anymore.

Since the Yankees have a policy of “No Beards” … that means we won’t be seeing this offense to facial hair anymore.

And it definitely means we won’t see Swisher do his pink goatee thing at Mother’s Day either.

And since the Yankees made Jason Giambi and Johnny Damon shave off their beards … you know they’re serious.

Now, Swish seems to have fun with this stuff and always seems to be looking for ways to raise money for charitable causes (he grew out his hair for cancer patients)- so watch for him to partner with a razor company when he shaves it off.

It’s possible this trade was made because Swisher has been known to hang out with the Yankees’ #1 offseason target … CC Sabathia.

I wonder if Umpbump (the champions of unfortunate facial hair) will beat me to this post.  By the way … I’ve made it clear that I like Baseball Beards.  Just not that one.

And it’s the return of Jersey of the Week!! 

You’ve got to love fans of the Milwaukee Brewers. 

They’re not afraid to show their allegiances on their chest. 

Literally.

When they’re not peeing their pants about their 2008 NL WildCard Winning Brew Crew, they’re finding other ways to support their team … like this guy - who shaved “Go Brew” into into his chest hair.

That takes some dedication.  Besides, a lot of people just simply can’t do that.  Or wouldn’t.

He gets extra points for the bottle opener strapped to his arm.  Be Prepared, I always say.   And the ratty cap doesn’t hurt the cause either.

Mind you, we have to deduct some points for the purple pen outline that this guy didn’t wash off before the tailgate. 

“Go Brew” Chest Hair Rating

• Cleverness:  8
• Originality:  5
• Understandability:  10

I would have given Tens across the board if he had shaved the Brewers’ baseball glove logo (most awesome logo EVER) into that shag carpeted torso.  That would have been something to see.

By the way, what’s up with all the Brewers love on manchests this season?

Where’s the half-naked girls doing that?  Come on all you women of Brew Crew Nation … don’t let the boys have all the fun. 

Got a Jersey or Shirt we need to see?  Let us know at the JotW tip line !!

Okay, I really shouldn’t have even titled this a Jersey of the Week post.  I was looking for a good All-Star related jersey and simply couldn’t find one.

But it needed to be shared.  And since JotW is Home Run Derby’s showcase for baseball fans’ creativity in Jersey and T-Shirt art … I thought it belonged.

Check out the hair on this Beer Vendor at the 2008 All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium.

Awesome. 

That’s the famous Yankee Stadium frieze (in a modified 2008 All-Star Game Logo) and two stars with a 13 and a 2 inside of them for Yankee All-Stars Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter, respectively.  I’d guess there’s another star somewhere on that cranium with a 42 in it for Mariano Rivera.

All-Star Yankee Hair Rating

• Cleverness: 10
• Originality: 10
• Understandability: 8

I wonder how much time that took.  Does SuperCuts do that kind of work? 

If you didn’t know it, it’s the 20th anniversary of the movie masterpiece that is Coming to America … the film that let loose “Soul Glo” on America.  You know, the homage to Jheri Curl - that awesome, dripping wet looking ‘do from the seventies and eighties that would stain anything it came in contact with.

Baseball is often a great place to see some fashionable hairstyles and facial hair trends and it was no stranger to Jheri Curl.  So let your Soul Glow and enjoy the best curls in baseball.

Sammy Sosa

When Sosa came up with the Texas Rangers, teammate Rafael Palmeiro described him as a skinny Dominican with Jheri Curls.  Seriously … check out Sammy protecting the ‘do by barely wearing an oversized hat.  A 1-year old could knock that thing off with a sneeze.

Sammy kept the ‘do after being traded to the White Sox.  After he trimmed his long drippy locks … his power stats eventually exploded.  Call it the “Reverse Samson” effect. 

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Mother’s Day is coming (May 11th, guys - don’t forget) … which means MLB will be going Pink.

Once again, MLB and the Susan G Komen Foundation will to raise money and awareness for Breast Cancer research.  So you can expect to see Pink bats (Louisville Slugger), Pink wristbands, Pink lineup cards, Pink ribbons on the bases, etc., on Mothers Day.  With auctions on the bats to raise money afterwards.

But this season … Chicago White Sox players Nick Swisher and Bobby Jenks might be upping the ante in Baseball Pinkdom.

From Swisher’s blog …

… here’s a little insider tip …we’ve got something — shall we say, colorful … brewing in the DirtyCat for Mother’s Day!

The “DirtyCat” is the name of the fake salon Swisher (nickname: Dirty30) and Jenks (JenksyCat) have established in the White Sox clubhouse where they dye and groom their beards.  Both Swisher and Jenks have sported the blonde goatee this season.

I think I have an idea where Swisher is going with this … and he might just take Jenks with him …

Those would be hilarious and hideous at the same time - and they’d stand out great against the White Sox’ black unis, which they usually wear on Sundays.  And they might just top Scott Spiezio’s red soul patch in the history of Great Baseball Beards.  Primarily because of the reason they might do it.

Too bad the White Sox will be on the road this Mothers Day. US Cellular might have been packed with fans sporting fake pink goatees.

Nick Swisher isn’t a stranger to doing things for women’s cancer charities.  Last season, he grew out his hair so he could donate it to Pantene’s Beautiful Lengths foundation - which makes wigs for women with cancer - in memory of his grandmother, who passed away from cancer.

And Home Run Derby will once again pledge $10 to the Komen Foundation for every Home Run hit on Mothers Day. 

Last year, Home Run Derby donated $280 for the 28 balls that left the yard on Mothers Day 2007 - May 13, 2007.

Earlier this season, Home Run Derby had listed the Great Beards of Baseball. 

The little red furry thing that had nested under the chin of St. Louis Cardinals’ utility man Scott Spiezio made the cut. 

Back on August 9th, the famed Crimson Imperiale went on the restricted list as Spiezio voluntarily reported to a rehabilitation center for treatment for drug and alcohol abuse. 

This past Friday (9/14/07), Spiezio made his return to the Cardinals and started in a game against the Chicago Cubs.

Apparently Spiezio shaved it when he entered treatment and it hasn’t grown all the way back yet - something he intends to do.  It’s still a bit odd to see Spiezio without it.

Welcome back to Scott Spiezio.  We here at HRD hope that he has conquered his demons and can provide some hope to the Cardinals and their fans what has been a tortuous season.

Pictures credit - Associated Press (both)

Let’s take a look back at the Week in MLB.  Major League Blogging, that is …

Epic Carnival told us that some people were less interested in the action at the All-Star Game than the action outside the All-Star Game.

The Traditional Media continue to post ideas they read in Blogs and not give credit.  This time it’s the Boston Herald ripping off HRD favorite Red Sox Monster.

Bugs and Cranks continued their Baseball hair series - with some great Baseball Afros.

The Feed wrote about Baseball’s unwritten rules.  But if you write about them, are they unwritten anymore?

Some guy at Epic Carnival speculated that Barry Bonds was avoiding playing on ESPN.  Before anyone else did.

Deadspin wondered which Ballplayer will be the next to show Alyssa Milano his “O” Face.  “Oh-Oh-OH. You know what I’m talking about.”

Way back in Spring Training, Oakland A’s First Baseman-Outfielder-Heartthrob Nick Swisher showed up at camp with his hair grown out to a hippie-esque eleven inches in length. 

It seemed to work for him.  He was hitting the ball well with a .290 batting average (41 points above his career average) and a .500 slugging percentage with 6 Home Runs. 

Internet reports had him dating former Playboy model and Oakland Raiderette Danielle Gamba. 

And on May 11, Swisher signed a five year contract extension with the A’s for $26.75 Million.

Life was good.

Then, before a game on May 19th, Swisher had his lengthy locks clipped (by his father) so he could donate them to charity (Pantene’s Beutiful Lengths) to honor his grandmother, who had died of cancer.

At the time of the celebrated haircut, HRD wondered if there would be a Samson-like effect on Swisher’s stats.

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We’ve had two Blog Show Dings which means … two Blog Show Wings.  So can we fly now?

Be sure to watch the whole thing, but Home Run Derby is featured about 2 minutes and 45 seconds into this week’s Blog Show for the Great Beards of Baseball …

Bip props to Jamie (Mr. Irrelevant), Littles (The Dude Abides), and Dan (DC Sports Bog) and the Washington Post TV thing for putting us on the Blog Show and a big thanks to BallHype, Babes Love Baseball, Fear the Beard, Empty the Bench, Brogna Blog, St. Louis Sports Magazine, and our buds at Drunk Jays Fans for linking to the Beards week.