Home Run Derby

The fine folks over at Umpbump recently said that the Florida Marlins were one of the smartest teams in baseball (two championships in 15 years of existence kinda proves it – whatever reasoning there might be) … take some time and read Umpbump’s thoughts on the matter, and then come back here … (please come back here)

I agree with them – the Marlins are freaking brilliant – but for totally different reasons …

Yep – The infamous Marlins Mermaids  – Since we started the MLB Cheerleader team profiles, everybody keeps saying …

• When are you going to profile the Mermaids?
• Hey – the Marlins have some cheerleaders
• Have you seen the Mermaids? They’re freaking hawt! (That guy was from Southie I think)

Well, wait no further, because after the jump … are the Marlins Mermaids. (more…)

Let’s continue Home Run Derby’s look at cheerleaders around the Majors … with the Pad Squad.

The San Diego Padres have the “Pad Squad” to help rev up the crowds at Petco Park.

The Pad Squad spends its time roving the stands to pose for pictures, sing “Happy Birthday” to kids, and give away T-Shirts between innings by sling-shotting them into the crowd.

Okay, so the Pad Squadders are more like a bunch of Padres “Goodwill Ambassadors” than Cheerleaders and they’re way more interactive with Padre fans than most MLB Cheerleading squads.

There’s also guys on the Pad Squad, which would typically exclude them from a CWDTLB post, but hey – the guy wearing the red laynard in the team photo below deserves the mention for getting his freak on in a team photo that includes the team chaplain (oh wait – that’s the mascot). Wait a minute – does the big Asian guy have a ventriloquist dummy? And wasn’t the African-American gentleman at the bottom in an episode of Seinfeld?

Interestingly, the Padres have absolutely no mention of the Pad Squad on their website. I had to find pics via myspace and the excellent Padres blog Gas Lamp Ball.

The writers at Gas Lamp have a weird obsession with the Pad Squad. Really – there’s a bunch of Pad Squad stalkers over at that site.

It’s been a while since there’s been a decent CWDTLB post, so let’s knock one out right now … actually, let’s set up a whole new category at Home Run Derby – Baseball Cheerleaders.

What’s that you say? 

There’s no room for cheerleading in baseball?  Well – that’s where you’re wrong – because there are at least 16 natural breaks in a baseball game, and you can only watch a variation of a Dot Race on the Jumbotron so many times. 

And more importantly, because there are at least seven MLB teams who have some form of cheerleaders on the payroll.  Just because we’ve been on the Cardinals’ case lately … let’s start with …

Team Fredbird

Whoa.  Where were these ladies during the World Series telecasts?  I think more people might have watched if the TV cameras would ever point in their direction. 

According to the Cardinals’ website, they’ve been around since 1995.  Who knew St Louis has so many otherwise out of work models running around?  And that they’d be named after a mascot?

It sounds like Team Fredbird girls walk around the ballpark, hanging out with celebrities and just looking hot for most of the game until they go out on the field and launch T-Shirts, towels, or cups into the crowd during the 7th inning stretch. 

I’m told that sometimes they go out and dance – but there’s no photographic evidence of it anywhere.

When the team’s on the road, they’re paid to hang out at some place called Hotshots Bar and Grill, the squad’s sponsor.

In closing.  Team Fredbird – a good looking Dance/Promotions Team with a stupid team name.