Home Run Derby

So you’d think a front row seat for Game Three of the 2008 ALCS at Fenway Park would be a good seat, right?

It’d be more fun if the Red Sox weren’t down 5-0 to those cocky Rays. 

Hey look – TBS’ Craig Sager will be doing a report right in front of you while wearing one of those eye-raping suits he wears.  But that’s still cool, you’re gonna have a close-up on national TV …

… but then a Fenway Park soda vendor comes and nearly drops his big honkin tray of refreshing ice cold Coca-Cola right on your head … and then drops a bottle of Coke right in your lap.

Sheesh.  Now the guy to the left of Sager gets his WTF? face plastered on National Television.

Good thing they sell soda in bottles now. Remember when they sold lukewarm flat soda in paper cups? That guy’s lap would have been drenched.

That vendor was gonna sell that Coke no matter what.  

Are all Fenway Vendors that clumsy and self-absorbed?

Okay, I really shouldn’t have even titled this a Jersey of the Week post.  I was looking for a good All-Star related jersey and simply couldn’t find one.

But it needed to be shared.  And since JotW is Home Run Derby’s showcase for baseball fans’ creativity in Jersey and T-Shirt art … I thought it belonged.

Check out the hair on this Beer Vendor at the 2008 All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium.

Awesome. 

That’s the famous Yankee Stadium frieze (in a modified 2008 All-Star Game Logo) and two stars with a 13 and a 2 inside of them for Yankee All-Stars Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter, respectively.  I’d guess there’s another star somewhere on that cranium with a 42 in it for Mariano Rivera.

All-Star Yankee Hair Rating

• Cleverness: 10
• Originality: 10
• Understandability: 8

I wonder how much time that took.  Does SuperCuts do that kind of work? 

We’ve mentioned it before … but I’ll say it again.  Home Run Derby’s favorite employees at a Major League Baseball Stadium have always been …

Beer Vendors. 

You know – the Unsung Heroes of Baseball.  The guy that lets you stay in your seat during that crucial half-inning even though you’re dying of thirst.  Or because you have to buy because you just lost a round of “pass the cup.”  Or if you’re like me – you want someone to BRING you your $7.50 cup of watered-down beer.

So here’s to you … Beer Vendor Guy.  You’re like a US Postal Worker … except you always deliver something we want.

You know … sometimes you’re not sure which vendor is coming up the aisle.  You’ll never have that problem with this beer vendor from Jacobs Field (oh – wait … Progressive Field) in Cleveland. 

He might be a little full of himself, though.

You won’t go broke pandering to the fans.  Watch as this vendor from old Busch Stadium in St. Louis does just that … while ripping on the visiting arch-rival Cub fans.

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We don’t do a lot of posting about the Yankees or their fans here at Home Run Derby, but it’s high time that changed around here. Especially after the “New York Mets Fan Commercial Videos” post the other day.

I’ve yet to go to Yankee Stadium, but I’m told it’s filled with loud, potty-mouthed, beer-swilling fans who think they know a thing or two about baseball.  Sounds like my kind of place.  Cue the comments from rfm2 and his Yankee compatriots.  Here’s one now. 

Let’s go to Yankee Stadium and see the effect of beer on the Yankee Faithful.  Invariably, You find the best fans in the cheapest seats. The drunkest, too … So let’s head to the Upper Deck of Yankee Stadium … and while we’re there, Let’s Sing!

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Some chilly Opening Day in April you may find yourself in a box seat (and a friggin’ parka) watching your favorite baseball team take the field for the first time that season … and want a beer.

Some hot, sunny afternoon in July or August you may find yourself sitting in the outfield bleachers cheering on your hometown boys of summer (even though they were all butmathematically eliminated a month ago) … and need a beer.

Some weeknight in October you may find yourself braving the steep slant of the Upper Deck to watch your favorite team play its first game in the League Championship Series … and want a beer.

You know who will be right there for you on those days and every other game inbetween? That’s right. Your Friendly Neighborhood Beer Vendors. These guys (and gals) are there – FOR YOU.

Vendors are like Postal Workers – except they always deliver something you want .. not those pesky Credit Card Applications, Bills, or Summonses. And they come to YOU so you don’t have to get up out of your seat during the middle of an inning to buy the next round because some idiot spilled your beer.

Let’s take a look at some of these Heroes in Action …

Let’s start at Cleveland’s Jacobs Field, where a vendor is sherpa’ing some frosty cold brew to the top of what must be Mount UpperDeck. I hope this guy gets tipped well – I think Vertigo is grounds for hazard pay.

Next let’s go to Wrigley Field, where the Chicago Cubs’ Beer Vendors have the Beer Vendors Assocation and their own baseball cards and everything … Here’s a beautiful example of the double pour.

I’ve seen a triple pour executed and I heard about some guy years ago in the Dominican Republic with polydactyly who was working on a quintuple pour – okay maybe not … But think about it – El Pulpo would have made a mean Beer Vendor.

You know, you can get thirsty in the hot desert air of Spring Training … here’s an awesomely chatty vendor doing everything he can to sell beer at Tucson Electric Park during a White Sox Spring game. Bonus – you get a Jim Thome Home Run on the side.

But sometimes vendors can talk too much while trying to hawk the suds. Talking takes away from pouring. Sometimes it’s refreshing to hear a vendor just offer what he’s got and not over do it. This guy is famous for just that up in Toronto. This guy’s great.

ICE … COOOLLLD … BEEER. Anybody thirsty yet?

First Round’s on you.