Home Run Derby

So help me God, I LOVE THE HOME RUN DERBY.

• Even though it might be glorified batting practice. 
• Even though it might get boring after oh, 10 Home Runs. 
• Even though it might be “all that’s wrong with the game”
• Even though ESPN keeps trying to overhype and destroy it with its predictable coverage of the event. 

Wait … predictable coverage of a television event? 

You know what that means … DRINKING GAME!!

To celebrate this blog’s namesake, Home Run Derby brings you our Third Annual HOME RUN DERBY DRINKING GAME !! 

I’m going for three straight years that I don’t show up for work the day after the Derby.  (2007, 2008)

Get on your drinking jerseys and let’s get started.

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So it’s been a few weeks since we did a Jersey of the Week post here at Home Run Derby.  So we’ll make it up to you.  With a bunch of them. 

And all of them pertain to one of our favorite baseball-related activities. 

Drinking.  Sometimes, just going to a baseball game isn’t enough.  You’ve got to get your drink on. 

And unfortunately for some people … sometimes that isn’t enough either … sometimes people are going to be loudmouth, stumbling drunks while they’re at it.  If you’re going to do that … at least have the courtesy to pre-identify yourself as such …. by wearing a personalized Jersey which lets everyone know that you’re going to be … that guy.

We’ll start off early in the game, where this White Sox fan is going to let everyone know what he wants.

Gotta tell ya – I like that Jersey a lot.  I saw it on TV last season … and danged if someone didn’t capture it.

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I’ve seen lots of Cub games from the Wrigley Field Bleachers. 

All told, I’ve probably NOT SEEN just as many Cub games from the Wrigley Field Bleachers – thanks to that wonderful 16-ounce cup to the left.

One of the things you see bleacherites doing is cup-stacking their beer cups.  

It’s a great way to show everyone how many $6 beers you consumed and (not coincidentally) how much of a drunken tool you’re going to be during the last few innings of the game, if not at Bernie’s after the game.

Mind you, I’ve never seen Wrigley Cup-Stacking like this before …

Looks to be a group effort.  I don’t think even the most weathered functional alcoholics that you find at Wrigley could put that many away. 

I take it back.  Harry Caray could do it and ask for more.

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Back in 1987, the St Louis Cardinals were going to the World Series … and the Cards’ 88-year old owner August (Gussie) Anheuser Busch, Jr. was living it up.

It the club’s sixth NL Championship (1964, 1967, 1968, 1982, 1985, 1987) and another chance to add a fourth World Series Title to the three (1964, 1967, 1982) acheived under his leadership as owner from 1953 to 1989.

It’s always awesome to see a 88 year old man partying in the locker room.
But it’s even better when he’s wearing a red pimp suit.

Here comes the video …

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Philadelphia Phillies 1st Baseman Ryan Howard is known more for his bat than his glove.

Consider that in 2008, Howard led the Major Leagues in Home Runs (48) and RBI (146) while he finished last in Fielding Percentage among First Basemen (.988 with 19 Errors).

But that Fielding Percentage would be a lot higher if baseball was played with a beer can instead of a ball ….

During the Phillies World Series Championship parade, our friends at Big League Stew found proof that Howard can catch … a flying can of beer.

Watch the video after the jump …

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Last Night, during Game Five of the 2008 ALCS between the Rays and Red Sox, former professional wrestler Brian Knobbs got his Blue Rayhawk kicked out of Fenway Park.

I haven’t yet seen the official Red Sox reason as to why Knobbs was booted from Fenway, but I would imagine it would have to be something along the lines of being a belligerent, drunken loudmouth.

Knobbs was once part of the Wrestling Tag Team Known as “The Nasty Boys.”  Now’s he’s more recognizable as being Hulk Hogan’s best friend on the VH1 Reality TV Show Hogan Knows Best and occasionally Brooke Knows Best.  Scratch that – he’s known as the fat obnoxious drunk guy always hanging around Hogan.

Here he is before the game … claiming to be the “Original Rayhawk” … prepare to be yelled at.

More pics after the jump …

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Home Run Derby has been accused a few times of being Gnat-swatters. 

I suppose we fall into that category, considering how much we love to bash the worst team in baseball … the Washington Nationals (currently MLB Worst in Wins, AVG, SLG, OBP, Runs, and Save %).

But even though we predicted that the Nats would be the worst team in baseball and told you about their misfortunes plenty of times this season  … we’ve never ripped on Nats fans (we may have questioned their judgement once or twice).  As a long suffering Cub fan, I just can’t do it – I know how it is to have a team that’s not quite up to competing in the Majors.  Besides, the Nats fans turned out in droves to support their Racing Presidents in Mascot Brackets.

And via the JotW tip line, one special Nat fan is now rewarded with Jersey of the Week honors. From Nationals Stadium …

BEER !!

You gotta love a guy who can tell a vendor what he wants without saying a word or turning around.  My guess would be that a Nats fan needs a lot of beer to get through a Nationals game.

BEER Jersey Rating:

• Cleverness: 7
• Originality: 5
• Understandability: 10

If the jersey number was $7.50 (price of beer at Nats Stadium) or 16 (as in ounces) instead of “80″ … it would have been a perfect score.

If you see a great baseball jersey that everyone else needs to see … let us know at the JotW tip line !!

If you know the name of this blog, you’ll know that we here at Home Run Derby LOVE the Home Run Derby.  It’s the most wonderful day of the year.

• The best thing about the MLB Home Run Derby is that it’s all just fun. 
  No pretentiousness about the sanctity of the game. 
• No forced urgency about home-field advantage during the World Series. 
• Heck, even the incoherent ramblings of Chris Berman and Joe Morgan on ESPN can’t ruin Home Run Derby for me.

But if you can’t stand the ESPN telecast… maybe you need a little something to take the edge off … like Home Run Derby’s Second Annual Home Run Derby Drinking Game!! 

We did this last year for the Home Run Derby in San Francisco and it was so much fun I had to call in sick the next day.  My arm hurt from raising my glass so much. 

I’m always in need of a day off from work … so let’s do it again !! 

Short Version

• Put 911 on speed dial
• Take a drink every time Chris Berman says “Back” as in “Back-Back-Back”
• Take a drink every time Joe Morgan says something stupid.
• Wake up next week

Longer (and more fun) version

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So this afternoon, it was a hot one at Wrigley Field as the Cubs beat the Giants 3-1. 

Temperature was in the mid-eighties, humidity in the 50-60% range – it probably felt closer to 90 degrees.   It’s enough to make a kid sitting in the front row at Wrigley really dehydrated. 

Better drink something kid …

… wait a minute … is that a beer? 

That’s not Water or Pepsi or Mountain Dew.

That looks like a beer cup to me.  And that looks like beer in that beer cup.  That kid’s in the wrong section … the bleachers are in the outfield, dude.

What do you think?

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If it’s not beer – what is it?
Is it a big deal if he is?

Update: Posted better video