Home Run Derby

If you know the name of this blog, you’ll know that we here at Home Run Derby LOVE the Home Run Derby.  It’s the most wonderful day of the year.

• The best thing about the MLB Home Run Derby is that it’s all just fun. 
  No pretentiousness about the sanctity of the game. 
• No forced urgency about home-field advantage during the World Series. 
• Heck, even the incoherent ramblings of Chris Berman and Joe Morgan on ESPN can’t ruin Home Run Derby for me.

But if you can’t stand the ESPN telecast… maybe you need a little something to take the edge off … like Home Run Derby’s Second Annual Home Run Derby Drinking Game!! 

We did this last year for the Home Run Derby in San Francisco and it was so much fun I had to call in sick the next day.  My arm hurt from raising my glass so much. 

I’m always in need of a day off from work … so let’s do it again !! 

Short Version

• Put 911 on speed dial
• Take a drink every time Chris Berman says “Back” as in “Back-Back-Back”
• Take a drink every time Joe Morgan says something stupid.
• Wake up next week

Longer (and more fun) version

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So this afternoon, it was a hot one at Wrigley Field as the Cubs beat the Giants 3-1. 

Temperature was in the mid-eighties, humidity in the 50-60% range - it probably felt closer to 90 degrees.   It’s enough to make a kid sitting in the front row at Wrigley really dehydrated. 

Better drink something kid …

… wait a minute … is that a beer? 

That’s not Water or Pepsi or Mountain Dew.

That looks like a beer cup to me.  And that looks like beer in that beer cup.  That kid’s in the wrong section … the bleachers are in the outfield, dude.

What do you think?

 Loading …

If it’s not beer - what is it?
Is it a big deal if he is?

Update: Posted better video

Seattle beer lovers might be a little sad today.

Sometime last year we told you about a Seattle Bar which had a awesome promotion called Cheap Sexson Mondays … wherein Norm’s Eatery and Ale House in Seattle would sell cheap bottles of Budweiser and Bud Light (priced according to Richie Sexson’s batting average) all day on Mondays.

Norm’s continued Cheap Sexson Mondays this season, and bottles of beer sold for no more than $2.44 and bottomed out at $1.97. 

A bottle of Bud cost $2.15 this past Monday (7/7/08) with Sexson’s average at .215 - what a bargain!!

Well, the Mariners released the slumping Richie Sexson today, quite possibly ending one of the greatest bar promotions (if not the one with the best name) in the history of baseball. 

Home Run Derby talked to Steve Habecker, the owner of Norm’s Eatery to see if we could get the scoop on Norm’s plans now that their favorite slumping Mariner is no longer a Mariner.

Home Run Derby:  Thanks for talking to us, Steve
Steve Habecker:    No problem.

HRD: How’d you come up with the idea for Cheap Sexs on Mondays? 
SH:    Well, we were going to doing something with Bret Boone a couple years ago, but he was gone before we could.  Then last year (2007) when Sexson started off the season so badly  - we had to do something.  We started it in May 2008.

HRD: How was turnout?  Was it a success?
SH:    Well, at $2 or so a bottle, we weren’t making  much money on it.  It was more of a gimmick and we had people who would come in and be able to get four beers (sometimes five) for less than $10.  A lot of people would call us and ask what Sexson’s batting average was - they apparently have never heard of the internet. 

I never would have expected to get this kind of coverage for this promo.  All day yesterday people were asking what I was going to do with the banners we have up for it and if they could have one.  Sexson’s dad lives down in Vancouver, Washington and I’m tempted to drive down and put one of the banners on his garage.

HRD: Now that Sexson is no longer a Mariner - what happens to Cheap Sex on Mondays?
SH:   We’re going to watch what happens this weekend. If Sexson gets picked up by another team, we’ll keep it going. It’d be funny if another team picked him up and he started hitting .300. 

HRD: Would you be mad if he got signed by another team and a bar in that city ripped off your idea?
SH:   No. We’re all in this together.

HRD: And if he doesn’t sign?
SH:   Well, we’re thinking about replacing Sexson with Kenji Johjima (signed a 3-yr extension for $24 Million, hitting .216) or possibly offering Well Drinks for a price equal to the Mariners winning percentage (currently 391). It’s going to be tough to come up with as good of a title for our next promo.

HRD:  Any good stories from Cheap Sexson Mondays?
SH:     Well, sometimes we’d get some really creepy calls from old guys asking what our “Cheap Sex on Mondays” was all about - like if we had dancing girls.  

HRD: Thanks for your time.  It’s the best named bar promotion in the history of bar promotions.
SH:   Thanks.  Some other blog called 10 minutes before you.

Richie Sexson whiffs … and the crowd at Norm’s goes wild!!

Add ESPN announcer Rick Sutcliffe to the list of coaches-fans-players-announcers who have objectified Erin Andrews.

Last night, the lovely and talented Erin Andrews wore a bright yellow dress during ESPN’s telecast of the Braves-Cubs game at Wrigley Field.  Sutcliffe and his broadcast partner Dave O’Brien made mention of the dress … which prompted Sutcliffe to say …

“I got a new favorite color, I know that”

and

“I’m more worried about Erin than I was me … wearin that skirt in the windy City?  You think all eyes weren’t on her during batting practice?”

Here’s the video …

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Usually at a ballgame, you need to keep you eyes on your beer.  At $7.75 for 16 ounces … it’s a near-tragedy when some oaf stumbles down your row and knocks over your brew.

But in the bleachers at AT&T Park in San Francisco - you gotta be aware of the wind … 

Watch as the wind tries to knock over a nearly-full beer …

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We’ve mentioned it before … but I’ll say it again.  Home Run Derby’s favorite employees at a Major League Baseball Stadium have always been …

Beer Vendors. 

You know - the Unsung Heroes of Baseball.  The guy that lets you stay in your seat during that crucial half-inning even though you’re dying of thirst.  Or because you have to buy because you just lost a round of “pass the cup.”  Or if you’re like me - you want someone to BRING you your $7.50 cup of watered-down beer.

So here’s to you … Beer Vendor Guy.  You’re like a US Postal Worker … except you always deliver something we want.

You know … sometimes you’re not sure which vendor is coming up the aisle.  You’ll never have that problem with this beer vendor from Jacobs Field (oh - wait … Progressive Field) in Cleveland. 

He might be a little full of himself, though.

You won’t go broke pandering to the fans.  Watch as this vendor from old Busch Stadium in St. Louis does just that … while ripping on the visiting arch-rival Cub fans.

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There’s lots of reasons to go to a Major League Baseball game …

But sometimes, that’s just not enough to make you pay $40 for a ticket and drink a beer for $7, especially if the team sucks … and MLB Teams know it.  So they offer trinkets and bawbles to get your butt in a seat.  Yep, we’re talking promotions and giveaways.  And we usually fall for it.

The majority of these handouts are overdone retreads of stuff like t-shirts and floppy hats and plastic doodads like keychains and flashlights and bobbleheads.  Bobbleheads are great, but unless you’re the table in front of Mike and Mike or Mottram and Steinz, how many do you need?

But sometimes, the team’s marketing squad does something creative … here are the best ones you can try to grab in 2008.

Joe Mauer Fishing Lure - Minnesota Twins (May 2)

Now this is cool.  In a state with 10,000 lakes, you’re gonna need something to catch bass with when the Twins are on the road.   

Mind you, I’m not sure how many times an MLB team has given away anything with six sharpened barbs on it before.  This could be a one-and-done event, because you just know someone’s gonna lose an eye from this thing.  Given out to the first 5,000 fans over the age of 18.

No boys, this will not help you catch anything like Mauer’s ex-girlfriend, former Miss USA Chelsea Cooley.  No girls, this will not help you catch Joe Mauer.

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Somebody out there really knows me (actually, full disclosure: I do have a friend at ESPN Zone that forwarded this on to me) and designed the perfect contest for me, and probably many readers of this site.

Yep a “watching TV, eating, and drinking as much as you want all while sitting in a perfect recliner” contest. The ESPN Zone in Chicago is running its 6th annual (who knew they had already run 5 of these before), Ultimate Couch Potato Competition. 

This is no joke, it is a real competition. 

The rules are simple: sit in a comfy DreamSeat recliner in the front row of the Screening Room facing a wall of HD TVs, all showing non-stop sports programming and featuring the college bowl games. 

Participants can order unlimited food and beverages compliments of ESPN Zone, however they may not sleep or leave their chair and restroom breaks are permitted every eight hours.

The ESPN Zone in New York is going to have their first one this New Year’s Day.   Second City my ass.

Five lucky participants (including last year’s champ) have a duel to see who can sit on the recliner the longest while watching sports, eating and drinking without falling asleep. You get a bathroom break every 8 hours.  According to the site, last year’s winner made it 40 hours.

I think this Greek could take this in a breeze, but alas, there is NO way I get a 2 or 3 day hall pass to compete, especially from work (the contest starts on New Year’s Day and this finance guy can’t miss year end close).

It really is too bad, because among the prizes you win if you are the last person awake is a 42 inch HD TV, which I really need.  And get this … no matter win or lose, if you make it 12 hours, you get to the keep the recliner!!  12 hours … any amateur sports watcher should be able to do that.

Maybe one of you guys out there have the right stuff to do this!  Check out the site and enter if you so choose.  Maybe Richie will throw in a Homerderby.com T-shirt if you win …

Do we have those Richie?

Apparently $6 is too much for some Indians fans to pay for a beer in Cleveland, even during the Playoffs. It’s still $6 at Jacobs Field for a Budweiser, right?

Too bad it’s not Buzz Beer.

Because in the following video clip you’ll see an Indians fan (all the way to the right) take a healthy swig of some beverage (probably not beer) that he brought from home.

Out of his binoculars.

I’ve been to countless sporting events and that’s the first time I’ve ever seen someone use a binocular flask. AKA Barnoculars.

Dude, the camera catches everything. The Indians would like to talk to you about your season ticket privileges.

Funny thing is, it’s the Yankees fans who needed a stiff drink during that game.