Home Run Derby

Do you like those cute little Elmer Fudd ear-flapped baseball caps the Phillies and Rays have been wearing in Philly for the World Series?  Get used to them - they”ll be back next year.

I’ve heard a lot of griping about late-October baseball this postseason, brought on by the rain-induced suspension of Game 5 of the World Series and the subsequent postponement of the last 3.5 innings of that game yesterday - and it’ll be in the low 30’s for the replay tonight.

If the makeup innings get postponed again (doesn’t look likely - the Philly rain is expected to let up by gametime) - Game Seven would be scheduled for November 1.  Last season, November baseball would have happened if the Rockies would have shown up and the Series went seven games.

Get used to it.

Next season, if MLB sticks to its recent ludicrous playoff schedule (no doubt designed by FOX and TBS) there will be at least one World Series game played in November … and possibly four games.

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The Chicago Cubs are in the playoffs. 
The Chicago Cubs have clinched the National League Central. 
The Chicago Cubs have clinched Home Field Advantage throughout the National League Playoffs. 

The Chicago Cubs have what is their best chance to reach and conceivably win their first World Series in 100 years.  Goats and Black Cats be damned.

This is tempting fate … but here goes. 

This is what Chicago Cubs 2008 World Series Tickets look like …

………Considering that a World Series at Wrigley Field is probably a once in a lifetime event … $190 to sit in the lower deck is a bargain. 

Is it jumping the gun to share these with the world?  Some might say it is. 

Last year, Deadspin’s Will Leitch said that the existence of Cubs World Series tickets “mocks the natural order of the universe.” 

But Leitch is a Cardinals fan, so indoor plumbing also qualifies as something outside “the natural order of the universe.”

Looking at them does in fact make me, as a Cub fan, nervous. 

But not as nervous as last year.

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Seattle beer lovers might be a little sad today.

Sometime last year we told you about a Seattle Bar which had a awesome promotion called Cheap Sexson Mondays … wherein Norm’s Eatery and Ale House in Seattle would sell cheap bottles of Budweiser and Bud Light (priced according to Richie Sexson’s batting average) all day on Mondays.

Norm’s continued Cheap Sexson Mondays this season, and bottles of beer sold for no more than $2.44 and bottomed out at $1.97. 

A bottle of Bud cost $2.15 this past Monday (7/7/08) with Sexson’s average at .215 - what a bargain!!

Well, the Mariners released the slumping Richie Sexson today, quite possibly ending one of the greatest bar promotions (if not the one with the best name) in the history of baseball. 

Home Run Derby talked to Steve Habecker, the owner of Norm’s Eatery to see if we could get the scoop on Norm’s plans now that their favorite slumping Mariner is no longer a Mariner.

Home Run Derby:  Thanks for talking to us, Steve
Steve Habecker:    No problem.

HRD: How’d you come up with the idea for Cheap Sexs on Mondays? 
SH:    Well, we were going to doing something with Bret Boone a couple years ago, but he was gone before we could.  Then last year (2007) when Sexson started off the season so badly  - we had to do something.  We started it in May 2008.

HRD: How was turnout?  Was it a success?
SH:    Well, at $2 or so a bottle, we weren’t making  much money on it.  It was more of a gimmick and we had people who would come in and be able to get four beers (sometimes five) for less than $10.  A lot of people would call us and ask what Sexson’s batting average was - they apparently have never heard of the internet. 

I never would have expected to get this kind of coverage for this promo.  All day yesterday people were asking what I was going to do with the banners we have up for it and if they could have one.  Sexson’s dad lives down in Vancouver, Washington and I’m tempted to drive down and put one of the banners on his garage.

HRD: Now that Sexson is no longer a Mariner - what happens to Cheap Sex on Mondays?
SH:   We’re going to watch what happens this weekend. If Sexson gets picked up by another team, we’ll keep it going. It’d be funny if another team picked him up and he started hitting .300. 

HRD: Would you be mad if he got signed by another team and a bar in that city ripped off your idea?
SH:   No. We’re all in this together.

HRD: And if he doesn’t sign?
SH:   Well, we’re thinking about replacing Sexson with Kenji Johjima (signed a 3-yr extension for $24 Million, hitting .216) or possibly offering Well Drinks for a price equal to the Mariners winning percentage (currently 391). It’s going to be tough to come up with as good of a title for our next promo.

HRD:  Any good stories from Cheap Sexson Mondays?
SH:     Well, sometimes we’d get some really creepy calls from old guys asking what our “Cheap Sex on Mondays” was all about - like if we had dancing girls.  

HRD: Thanks for your time.  It’s the best named bar promotion in the history of bar promotions.
SH:   Thanks.  Some other blog called 10 minutes before you.

Richie Sexson whiffs … and the crowd at Norm’s goes wild!!

How bad are things for SF Giants’ pitcher Barry Zito?

• He’s 4-12 this season with a 5.73 ERA and a 1.78 WHIP
• He started the season 0-8 with a 6.25 ERA
• Opponents are batting .305 against him with an .863 OPS
• His record is even worse in San Fran - In 9 games he’s 1-8 with a 6.66 ERA and a 2.14 WHIP 
• The Giants’ offense only supports Zito with 2.8 runs a game (only 2.4 at home)
• The Giants are 5-13 in games he’s pitched this season.
• Earning $14.5 Million this season, he’s got to be the most overpaid pitcher in MLB.

But aside from all that … Fathead is now selling his life sized wall decal at a bargain price. 

That’s right - usually Fatheads go for $99.95 - but you can get Barry Zito on your wall for a mere $19.95 - that’s 80% off the original price.

That kid must be wondering what he did to make his parents hate him so much.

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So I guess a few weeks back (on May 19th) - The Simpsons were at Dodger Stadium to see the Los Angeles Dodgers take on the Cincinnati Reds.

Homer Simpson (or at least a seven-foot tall facsimilie of him) got to throw out the first pitch.  I guess Universal Studios was hyping up the new Simpsons Ride at their Theme parks. 

All season long at Dodger Stadium, there’s a “Hit a Homer” promotion.  If the Dodgers hit a Home Run in the 5th Inning - Universal Studios will be giving kids (who are at the game) free tickets to Universal Studios Hollywood.  Mind you, you have to buy a full fare adult ticket for it to be valid - so it’s not exactly free … 

Lousy unfree “free ticket.”  D’OH !! 

At least you get a cool picture of a baseball-capped Homer Simpson on a popsicle stick. 

Then again - shouldn’t Homer be wearing a Dodgers cap? 

So far there have been only four games wherein the Dodgers have hit a Home Run in the fifth inning (4/15, 5/5, 5/6, and 6/24) at Chavez Ravine - and only one of those games occurred after the press release on May 15th (6/24).  I’m not sure if the promtion was live before the press release of May 15th, 2008.

Even if the promotion was in effect during April and early May - all three of those games were night games during the school year - where there are likely to be less kids than during the summer or on a weekend.  And none of the games have been sellouts.

So Universal Studios is making out like a bandit on this promotion if you ask me.

You can watch Homer throw better than most celebrities right here … video after the jump.

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A while back, Home Run Derby told you the favorite MLB teams of the 2008 Presidential Candidates. 

Ever wonder who Major League Baseball wants to win in the political arena? 

Simple answer:  Democrats.

How do we know?  Well … since 2001, Major League Baseball has a Political Action Committee (PAC).   So far as I can tell, MLB is the only Professional Sports League to have a PAC - why am I not surprised? 

Considering how often MLB gets dragged into Congressional hearings lately, it makes perfect sense that MLB would want to have lined the pockets and greased the palms of some Senators and Representatives.  Baseball has given to a number of Candidates over the 21st Century.  Some notables …

• $1,000 to Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY)
• $6,500 to Senator John McCain (R-AZ)
• $13,000 to Rep. Dennis Hastert (R-IL)
• $22,500 to Senator Chris Dodd (D-CT)
• $7,500 to Senator Max Baucus (D-MT)
• $9,500 to Senator Harry Reid (D-NV)
• $10,000 to Senator Tom Daschle (D-SD)
• $25,000 to Rep. James Sensenbrenner (R-WI)

Let’s see how MLB has doled out that PAC money by Party over the past four Federal Election Cycles.

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So the Minnesota Twins didn’t keep Johan Santana.  Instead, they traded him to the Mets for prospects and thereby didn’t have to pay him anything near the $137.5 million that the Mets guaranteed Santana. 

So with all that money saved, what’s a Baseball Team to do? 

• Go get the next best available (but slightly cheaper) free agent pitcher?
• Get new, more comfortable uniforms?
• Lower ticket prices? 

Naaahhh.

If you’re the Minnesota Twins … you go and get a commercial during the Super Bowl … let’s watch …

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So even after their 72-90 record last season (24 games back in the AL Central), the Chicago White Sox keep missing out on the big names this offseason …

• Torii Hunter - signed with Angels - 5 Years / $90 MM
• Andruw Jones - signed with LA Dodgers - 2 Years / $36 MM
• Aaron Rowand - signed with SF Giants - 5 Years / $60 MM
• Kosuke Fukudome - signed with Cubs - 4 Years / $48 MM
• Miguel Cabrera - traded to Tigers for prospects

Either the White Sox are cheaper than other teams in their offers for these players or players no longer think the South Side of Chicago is an attractive place to play anymore.

White Sox General Manager Kenny Williams has now expressed his frustrations …

“If I ever leave this job or if I ever get fired,” Williams says, “I’m not coming back to the American League. I’m going to the National League. You’ve got a fighting chance over there.”

So with this in mind (and the White Sox fanbase growing edgy) you’d think that some disgruntled fan has already snatched up FireKennyWilliams.com to rant about the recent misfortunes of the Pale Hose.

Well, FireKennyWilliams.com has indeed been registered.  Someone with some foresight did it back on April 13, 2007. 
The owner, however, might surprise you. 

The owner of FireKennyWilliams.com is …

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Major League Baseball’s Posteason awards are the the ultimate in recognition for a ballplayer.  To be named your League’s best pitcher or Most Valuable Player does wonders for an already inflated ego.

Not to mention your wallet getting fatter from the contract incentives for winning one.

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