Home Run Derby

It’s a long standing tradition for a rehabbing Major League player to pick up the postgame spread for the Minor League club hosting him.  

From Minor League Dugout …

One of baseball’s unwritten rules, along with not talking to a pitcher throwing a no-hitter, requires major league players on rehabilitation assignments to furnish a post-game meal for their often under-funded minor league teammates. [snip]

Tradition holds that the big leaguer will approach the clubhouse manager about picking up something for post game on their last day with the minor league club.

MILB.com reported on this back in May in a piece about Rehab stints.

And the team’s players have the chance to suit up alongside an established star, who following established protocol, nearly always pays for a primo postgame food spread.

And why not?  The usual Minor League spread is akin to pasta, cold cuts, or peanut butter and jelly and typically costs the players $3-10.  MLB players get paid their normal salary even while they’re (usually briefly) in the minors.  Add to that the fact that they’re taking away playing time from a guy trying his heart out to make the bigs and the gesture is a small one that goes a long way.

Angels’ catching prospect Chris Rosenbaum blogged that minor league players look forward to them …

A tangible perk for the players of these assignments is that a post-game spread is usually purchased for us by the Major Leaguers.

“Nearly Always?”   ”Usually?”  

What Major Leaguer would stiff their rehab teammates on such a tradition?  The name should not surprise you.

Manny Ramirez. 

According to the Modesto Bee, Manny stiffed both his Minor League teammates at Albuquerque and Inland Empire of their traditional post-game meal during his little warmup stint before he returned to the Dodgers from his 50-game suspension for taking a banned substance.

Never heard of this tradition before?  Here’s some examples from the past couple years…

• In 2007, D-Backs pitcher Randy Johnson bought the Visalia Oaks a $3,000 dinner from a “national chain steakhouse.”
• Roger Clemens refurbished the Lexington Legends clubhouse with “four new black leather couches, two love seats, a 42-inch plasma television, a 20-inch television, a microwave, DVD and a VCR.”   In 2007 Clemens  bought the Tampa Yankees a post-game spread from Outback Steakhouse.
• Kei Igawa and Hideki Matsui bought the Tampa Yankees a spread from Lee Roy Selman’s.  It’s a barbeque joint.  Yum.
• Rick Ankiel bought a ping-pong table for a minor league clubhouse.
• Jose Valentin treated the St. Lucie Mets to Outback.
• Heck, fifteen years ago, Michael Jordan provided the Birmingham Barons with a tricked out bus. 

 And the big names aren’t the only ones who do it …

• Last season, Florida Marlins pitcher Josh Johnson bought dinner for the Jupiter Marlins.  The year before that he bought a flat screen TV for the Class-AA Carolina Mudcats.
• In May, the Colorado Rockies’ Ryan Spier and Jeff Baker (now withthe Cubs) each bought a postgame meal for the Modesto Nuts.
• In June, SF Giants’ rookie reliver Joe Martinez (the one who was hit in the head by a Mike Cameron line drive in April)  bought the spread for the San Jose Giants.

But Manny couldn’t do that. 

Perhaps someone forgot to tell Manny about the tradition.  Then again, Manny spent three seasons in Cleveland’s farm system and had Minor League rehab assignments in 2000 and 2002.  He would have known about that.

Of course, during his stint in the Minor Leagues, Manny was still officially under suspension and wasn’t being paid a dime (which raises a whole new question of why MLB players under suspension are allowed to play in the minors) … but that’s no excuse. 

Manny will be paid nearly $16.5 Million this season even after pulling out the cash ($7.4 million) he lost as a result of his suspension.

Maybe Manny’s just a big prima donna cheap ass.  He apparently tips about 10%.  Here’s another example when Manny made a producer from “Jimmy Kimmel Live” pick up a $860 tab after a night of drinking with David Ortiz and Johnny Damon.

Manny being Manny, I guess.  Now hit some homers so ESPN can blow their wad and we’ll go back to ignoring what a self-centered douchebag you are.

Funny thing about that MILB.com article about Major Leaguers doing rehabs in the Minors … Manny Ramirez’ picture is prominently featured.

If you’re about to be thrown out of a baseball game and get arrested … what do you do?

Comply quietly …
or get your money’s worth?

Well, this Milwaukee Brewer fan chose the Red Pill at a recent game at Miller Park and decided to strip down to his boxer shorts before a pair of Milwaukee’s Finest (should they be called Milwaukee’s Best?) could haul him away.

And damn if this isn’t the 21st Century … it’s all on video. 

Watch.  If you dare.

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Yesterday afternoon during the Yankees-Blue Jays game, there were two Canucks sitting behind Home Plate dressed as Umpires.

And they were making calls and everything. 

Take a look at the video as they help ring up Johnny Damon to end the fifth inning.

I like it. 

I think we need somebody doing this at every ballgame to keep the real umps honest.  And if you’re paying for those seats, you should be able to wear whatever you want.

Hat Tip: HHR

Did Queer Eye for the Straight Guy do a makeover for Roger Clemens lately?

Seven-time Cy Young winner and Mitchell Report namee Roger Clemens showed up at a Houston Rockets game last night.  Wearing a hat I wouldn’t put on a dog. 

Seriously – a pastel green and blue argyle baseball cap?  Who the heck makes that anyway? 
And what man would even consider wearing it? 

I mean, besides Roger Clemens, obviously.   I wonder if there’s an Erasure song (or five) on Clemens’ iPod.

Mind you, some Baseball teams think you’ll wear Argyle caps. 

This one from the New York Yankees is actually pretty sharp. 

Keeping the Bombers’ color scheme works really well on that cap. 
The same cannot be said for the following monstrosities …
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The Chicago Tribune has announced that the Ricketts family has won the bidding for the Chicago Cubs. 

And go figure, Jay Mariotti doesn’t like it.  In his most recent post at FanHouse, Mariotti describes how he apparently wanted (and still wants) Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban to be the owner of the Cubs. 

But since that didn’t happen, Mariotti had to first do a little name calling about Ricketts and Cub-Fandom in general …

I don’t care that the new owner of the Cubs, Tom Ricketts, met his wife somewhere in the Wrigley Field bleachers. Nor do I care that he lived every guy’s Wrigleyville dream, slumming in an apartment above a bar by the ballpark. This is just more of the same gooey romanticism that Cubdom eats from the first victory in April to the last inevitable loss of autumn — and never amounts to anything but the same “OHHHHH, NOOOOO!!!” from Ron Santo in the radio booth, echoing 101 years of agony.

We’re going to come back to this later.    Mariotti then goes on to assault Ricketts’ ownership qualifications …

What I want to know is simple and to the point: Can Ricketts and his family — best known for the TD Ameritrade discount brokerage founded by his father, J. Joe Ricketts — produce what the Tribune Co. couldn’t produce, the Wrigley family couldn’t produce and every Cubs owner since 1908 couldn’t produce? Can these people win the friggin’ World Series already? With no experience in pro sports ownership, what do they know about running a baseball franchise?  In particular, what do they know about running a franchise supported by a fanatical cult of loons, who ignore tidal waves of hopeless futility and, somehow, come back for more punishment after every October choke job?

So you need experience in “pro sports ownership” to run a successful baseball franchise?  Carl Pohlad (Minnesota Twins), Jim DeWitt (St. Louis Cardinals), Stuart Sternberg (Tampa Bay Rays), George Steinbrenner (New York Yankees), and Arte Moreno (Anaheim Angels) would like to differ.  Except Pohlad.  And only because he’s dead.

And besides, I would think “running a franchise supported by a fanatical cult of loons” would be easier than running one without said loons.  The key word is “support” – the loons pack the park nearly every game – without question.

Mariotti continues …

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So our favorite no-talent hack (Corky Simpson) has company.

Twenty-Eight members of the BBWAA didn’t vote for Rickey Henderson on their ballots for the Hall of Fame.  Too bad for them that 511 writers had a bit of common sense and voted Henderson in along with Jim Rice.

We figured as much.  It’s not a shocker that 539 writers couldn’t agree that MLB’s all-time steals leader should be in the Hall of Fame. But we’re curious …

Who?  Who are other twenty-seven?  And Why?

My guess is that we’re not going to find out all those names.  But we will know some of them in the days to come.

Because some writers are going to see all the attention that Simpson’s “No vote” generated and is going to want some of his own – because in the world of sportswriting, there’s a general rule.  “It is better to be talked about, than not to be talked about.”  and “Even Bad publicity is good publicity.”  Ask Jay Mariotti. 

Maybe (hopefully) that writer won’t be afraid to say why he really left him off his ballot and not fall back on some BS cop-out that he simply “goofed.”

Meanwhile, Corky Simpson fired back at the internet in an interview with the Columbia Journalism Review …

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It’s been no secret that Ron Santo desperately wants to get into the Hall of Fame.  But that nasty Veterans’ Committee just won’t let him in.  Even after the selection rules were changed after the 2007 elections (coincidentally or not) which gave him a better shot in 2008, he still wasn’t selected.  Then again, neither was anyone else.

A number of sportswriters have been stumped for years why Santo’s not in the Hall. 

Well, thanks to a Dentist’s advert on YouTube … we think we’ve figured it out.  And it was right under Santo’s nose.  Literally.

Ron Santo had bad teeth.  And I mean bad. 
Austin Powers Bad.
“Big Book of British Smiles” Bad.

And we all know that you need a great smile to get people to vote for you.

Don’t believe me? 
Check out these before and after closeups of Santo’s choppers …

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The most annoying Chicago Cub fan/attention whore on the planet and self-anointed Cubbie mascot Ronnie “Woo Woo” Wickers is apparently a big fan of Barack Obama.

Ugh.

First the possible jink from the Cubs/Obama T-Shirt … and now this.

Here’s video of Ronnie Woo-Woo doing his thing before the Indiana primaries earlier this year.

I’m told that Ronnie Woo-Woo is wandering the streets of Chicago today (what else is new) in advance of the Obama rally in Grant Park.

UPDATE: we’ve obtained video of Woo-Woo in Grant Park. I think it’s the first video of Woo-Woo I’ve ever seen where he’s being quiet.

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All day while posting silly videos from the on-street celebration of the Phillies World Series Victory, I’ve been calling the fans “rioters” and “the celebration a “riot.”

I got a couple emails frompeople saying I shouldn’t say that. That it wasn’t a riot.

Well, there were some instances where the party almost turned ugly. Not including the guy who took the bottle to the head.

Here’s video taken from a helicopter camera showing a bunch of Phillies Fans (rioters) trying to knock over a KYW-TV Van … breaking a few windows in the process.

Fortunately, some of Philly’s Finest were on hand to break up the hooligans before they knocked the van over.

You stay classy, Philadelphia.

Cue commenters talking something about the 1% ruining it for the rest of the city or something.