Gyros Thursday: My Beard Edition
Posted by: Nick the Greek in CWDTLB, Gyros Thursday, Hair
 Kali Speta my friends. Nick the Greek is back from his much needed rest and is ready to serve up some more Sammiches for the friendly diners. Gyros Thursday is back and the time has come to start the dings. You like da juice, huh? Athanasios!!! Get my friends da juice. Since Richie has decided to talk about beards, I thought I should provide a couple of thoughts on the subject myself. No soul patches allowed!
 Ding: I don’t think he ever played baseball, unless he was a minor leaguer with the Baghdad IEDs, the Falluja Jihadists or the Basra Bombers. But this beard ranks up at the top of all time great beards. I guess six months in a spider hole can do that too you. Hey Sadam, how does hell feel? Does Satan’s beard tickle? Save a seat for Gary Sheffield and Barry Bonds…they will be joining you some day.
Ding: Joe Crede…Dead. Hard to compete for the title when you have one of your 15 players on the shelf for 65% of the season. 4 HR is 47 games…C’mon Joe you could have had the surgery back in November and feeling great right now.
Ding: Give me a K…Give me an O…M…O…D….nah still too easy. I will let them wallow in peace.
Ding: Once upon a time, the El Gaupos stood atop the leaderboard, now they are 38 dingers off the pace. The fall happened shortly after the arrival of the Three Amigos post. To Do List for Nick the Greek: Write funny posts about Triple Crown, the Master Batters, Hackers and The Great Hambino to establish the Nick the Greek Jinx.
Ding: Richie’s Soriano post on his 3 dong day leads me to one conclusion. Anytime we have a player hit 3 homers in a day, Richie must chronicle the feat with a front page post. It happens about 10 times a year (11 times in 2006, 6 in 2005, 13 in 2004, and 12 in 2003; 2001 had it happen a record 22 times.). Albert Pujols and Ryan Howard did it on the same day last year (Sept 3rd). That should keep you busy Richie.
Ding: We all know that Prince Fielder is on fire with 12 Homeruns over the last 30 days. I would venture to guess that most people don’t realize that he is only third in slugging percentage over that same time frame. Third. Guess who is ahead of him…Pujols? Nope, he was 5th. Magglio? Nope, he was 7th. The dead man (you know the Mets 3rd baseman)? He was actually 8th (but still dead to me). Your winners would be Casey Kotchman (.827 in 75 ABs) and Carlos Pena…you remember him right? (.797 in 69 ABs). Prince slugged .732 in 97ABs.
Ding: Although there are a couple of Derek Jeter ex-girlfriends left to feature, I figured we could work in a future girlfriend that fits with our theme and timely publication news. I think this month’s playboy covergirl, Amanda Beard would make a great match with the Captain. She is certainly hot enough for the best shortstop in baseball. Although, she might be a better athlete them him. And she is definitely the best looking Beard pictured on Homerderby to date (Komodo’s hero Mike Piazza’s coverup wife nonwithstanding).
Get more Amanda after the jump. Yasso and hit a homer today.
It’s official, Amanda is my favorite Beard.
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