According to the San Francisco Gate (hat tip AOL Fanhouse), an auctioneer has set the early bounty on Barry Bonds‘ record breaking 756th Home Run Ball at …
A Dallas auction house is already talking turkey, offering $1 million for the ball Bonds hits to break Hank Aaron’s career record of 755.
The record ball “could truly be considered ‘priceless,’ ” Ivy said, “but we expect that $1 million will be very tempting to the fan who catches that ball.”
I don’t know about you, but for some reason this just reeks of evil genius to me.
Think about it – Doctor Evil and his cohorts have probably been supplying Bonds with ster- … ahem, flaxseed oil … for years now in an attempt to create absolute chaos in the world (okay maybe just Baseball) by having an unpopular dreg of society break Baseball’s most Hallowed Record.
There will be mass pandemonium inside (or more likely outside) whatever stadium Bonds hits #756 to get the ball anyway. And now, with a surely uncoincidental $1,000,000 bounty on this stitched sphere of cowhide, Dr. Evil will be in the mix to snatch the ball and attempt to plunge the world’s Collectible Baseball Market into chaos.
The only person who could save baseball from this fate is probably watching a game of cricket (do they have Pink Cricket bats on Mother’s Day?)
And don’t try to kayak in the San Francisco Bay for that ball either, because there’s probably going to be sharks with frickin’ lasers on their heads in McCovey Cove in the very near future.
Okay – none of this makes any sense, but when did any Austin Powers plot make any sense?
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