We’re the Vernon Wells Hecklers – By Jeff Raycher
Posted by: Jeff Raycher in 2007 MLB, Hecklers
To preface this story, it should be noted that the tickets my buddy Tom and I got for the fateful game were tickets that we traded in from the cancelled Indians 2007 home opener, which took place on a blizzard-like afternoon on April 6, 2007. Pics of Tom and I from that game (which never existed) are attached. Another memory that we’ll not soon forget.
Tom and I are both from the Cleveland area and are die-hard Tribe fans. We can both frequently be seen at Jacobs Field, sitting in the bleachers, and digging into whomever is playing center field for the Tribe’s opponent that day.
That Wednesday night (5/2/07) was a chilly night by the lake, but the excitement of 2007 Tribe baseball was keeping us warm. There was a slim turnout to root on the Tribe for their 8th series win in their first 9 series of the season. The hometown fans in the center field bleachers were pulling hard for their team. But my friend Tom and I also had another agenda; getting into the head of Vernon Wells, Toronto’s center fielder.
It began with chants of … “Ver-non…. Verrr-non … VERRR-NON … YOU SUCK!”
“Whatsamatta with Ver-non…?!?” – - – - “HE LIKES GUYS!!!”
On and on it went… one inning at a time … Childish? Sure. Creative? Not really. But funny? You bet. The crowd around us was lovin it. They began to heckle Vernon right along with us… The whole section joined in our chants. So we dug deeper…
“What happened to 2003 Vernon??!!” You’re a BUM Vernon! A BUM!”
“You know it’s coming your way Vernon – LOOK ALIVE!”
“Stop staring at the scoreboard Vernon – YOU BLEW IT!”
“Our centerfielder is an MVP Vernon!”
On and on it went… one inning at a time …
Childish? Sure. Creative? Not really. But funny? You bet.
Eventually, Vernon decided he wasn’t going to ignore us all night. It started with a tip of the cap … Then a gesture of his hands over his ears … Then he brushed his shoulders off. He made a fake yawn. We ate it up! Loving every second of it, the crazy bleacher creatures were getting louder and LOUDER with every pitch…
After one of his pre-inning warm-up tosses, Vernon even faked us out with a pump-fake throw of his baseball in our general direction. He promptly turned and threw it to what he felt to be a more deserving crowd on the home run porch. Touche Vernon. Touche. The bleacher fans promptly began to bellow, “THROW IT BACK! THROW IT BACK!!” …
Then came “The Turn”. It was around the 6th or 7th inning … A group of 7 (yes, seven) police officers picked me out of the crowd for a chat. Apparently I was the loudest… how else do you single one person out of a crowd of 100 screaming fans? The officers were receiving word on their radios that a player (Wells) was having problems with some of the fans in center field. Keep in mind, that at no point were we using profanity, personal attacks on his family, or throwing anything onto the field. We were mindful of a handful of kids in our section, and kept all the heckling to a respectful tone. The cops understood and acknowledged this, and I even received a little help from an elderly usher (who loved to do the chicken dance at every base-on-balls) who backed me up and told the police that it was all friendly banter that Vernon was shooting right back in our direction.
The police kept a close eye on the bleachers for the rest of the game. I suppose that was a good idea for all of us. What was not good for Vernon, is that this game would go 11 innings.
Following the stern “talking to” from the cops, I rejoined my buddy Tom and the rest of the rowdy fans and informed them of our success. We just had a player actually complain to security about us! AWESOME! The night could have just as well ended there. But wait; it gets better…
Vernon returned to the field and brought a ball with him. He pointed up at us, as to hint at an oncoming throw… We assumed it to be another pscyhe-out, but this time he actually threw it to us. A lucky fan snatched it out of the air and promptly handed it to a little girl.
But Vernon, with his oft-wild arm, had missed his target. He wanted me to have that ball. Vernon yelled up at the crowd and pointed at me; “Give it to HIM.” The girl noticed some writing on the ball, but it was not a signature … Clearly there was some sort of message from Mr. Wells.
As I read the words on the ball, I couldn’t help but bust out in uncontrollable laughter.
Here’s your ball, now please tell me what gas station you work at so I can come and yell at you when you’re working. Please sit down, shut up and enjoy the game. From your favorite center fielder, Vernon Wells.
It should be noted that Vernon promised to bring out another ball for the girl – and he came through with that promise the next inning. Nice guy.
Who knew we’d develop so much respect for a guy that we simply berated for nearly 4 hours. Vernon Wells is a class act. Maybe the complaint to the cops didn’t come from him after all..? We’ll never know.
We’re not just drunken idiot hecklers. We both hold a lot of baseball knowledge and watch or at least catch radio for all 162 games per year. We love the game, love the team, and as a result, have a lot of fun with getting on the Tribe’s opponents. We share a passion for the game much like the players do. Maybe that’s why we were lucky enough to receive Vernon’s comeback that night!
Like I said, it’s one of the greatest heckling stories of all time. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did, and as it appears, as much as Vernon did too.
Go Tribe! Wahoo Heaven in 2007!
Jeff Raycher & Tom Montague
Entries (RSS)
May 10th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Well, there’s only one thing left – an interview with Vernon Wells the III himself.
May 10th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
A brilliantly told story to a brilliant day at the ballbark. Could you imagine what some less good-natured players might write on the ball?
Sammy Sosa – “Beisbeil been berry, berry good to me. Pease sit down before my pose see you.”
Ricky Henderson – “I am the best. You are not. Sit down.”
Barry Bonds – “Here is the ball I hit for home run #726. Leave the packages at my doorstep but don’t write my name on it.”
Mark McGwire – “I’m not here to talk about the past.”
May 10th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Mike Piazza – “For the last time, I am not gay! Here’s my cell number so I can tell you in person”
May 10th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
They’re drinking beer in a blizzard.
They’re good people.
May 10th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
I hate to give kudos to an Indians fan, but this Pale Hose fan stands in admiration. Great Story. Great Work and Welcome to Homerderby.com. Hopefully, next year you can take a crack at the challenge. You can even pick Vernon and Grady. You have to be better than our doormat the Komodos.
May 10th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
Awesome! So cool to see players who can appreciate the fans, even enemy ones. And of course, fans who can argue and heckle without being crude or ignorant.
May 11th, 2007 at 10:12 am
I’m in awe….
The only time I managed to successfully get under ths skin of a player, he turned around and told me to go f**k myself.
I’ve picked Miguel Cabrera in HRD ever since………..
May 11th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Great read.
All I can say is that it transpired between 2 people
that are class acts.
The heckler and Vernon obviously have a high respect
for the game and what it stands for.
May 12th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
nice story but maybe next time you and your “buddy” should refrain from the anti-gay `he likes guys’ comments. definitely not funny and totally not appropriate in the context of you knowing there were little kids nearby.
May 14th, 2007 at 12:08 am
So how much are you sellin the ball on Ebay for? hahaha I guarantee u’d get something good for it!
May 15th, 2007 at 8:39 am
darrrrrrrrrrrrrrryl………….. DARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYL……
May 24th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Good story, but c’mon, the quote says (the one you wrote for the webiste) “please sit down” but if you can see on the ball it says “Now, sit down”. Also where did he sign the ball all it says is Vernon Wells all I see is: “Your favortie centerfielder”. With no space in centerfielder and no comma after it so show his signature.