Oh the Huge Manatee! Only the Pittsburgh Pirates could lose to a Community College.
Posted by: Richie Rich in Jinx, Pirates, T-Shirts
The near future doesn’t look so bright for the Pittsburgh Pirates, who are very likely to set a very dubious sports record with an unprecedented 17th Consecutive Losing Season in 2009.
Beyond that, the long-term future doesn’t look so bright either – because today, a team loaded with the Pirates’ top prospects lost to Manatee Community College by a score of 6-4.
Let’s let that sink in.
The Pirates lost to MANATEE COMMUNITY COLLEGE.
Usually the Pirates wait until opening day to crush the hopes and dreams of their fans, but this year I guess they started a little early.
Oh the Huge Manatee!! (Get it? Oh the Humanity? Manatee? Oh forget it.)
Now mind you, this was a split squad game and no one from the Pirates 25-man roster was playing in the game. Just Minor League prospects. So it was basically a team of guys in the Pirates’ dirty laundry who lost.
But that’s still … simply put … just not acceptable.
But I have something that’s even less acceptable. Before this atrocity unfolded … Pirates fans were chirping about this game. So much that they made T-Shirts trumpeting the fact that they had beaten the Manatee CC squad ten years straight.
Let’s take a look at that T-Shirt. Front and Back.
SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is worse than when the Tampa Bay Rays got all cocky with their T-Shirts last postseason.
When you’ve had a losing record for sixteen straight seasons, you have no right to talk smack about the fact that you’ve beaten a Community College ten straight years in an annual exhibition game. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BEAT THEM!!
Heck, if I was a Pirates fan, I wouldn’t want to publicize the fact that my team didn’t beat that CC by double digits every single time they played.
A quick look at the Box Score shows that the Lancers used a very unorthodox strategy – using a different pitcher every inning. It didn’t work early on, as the Pirates jumped out to a 4-1 lead after three innings. But then the Buccos couldn’t score a single run against the Sea Cows, as it seems the even lesser talent came into the game.
The Pirates had guys named Henry Henry and David Davidson playing in this one. Two doubly-named players, Wow. Who else is in the Pirates clown car – I mean farm system? Dick Dickerson? Tom Thomas?
By the way – why is a team from Manatee Community College not called the Manatees? The nickname seems pretty simple. Then again, I wouldn’t want my team to be named after nature’s speed bumps either. But the Lancers?
Maybe we should rename the Pirates. Something like the Pittsburgh Shipwreck.
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Entries (RSS)
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:13 am
This was the worst written article I have ever read. As a lifetime Pirates fan and a very optimistic one for the up coming season I think you should re-read before you publish your stories. In the beggining of the article the team that lost was pirates top prospect. Then 2 or 3 paragraghs down it was their dirty laundry team that lost. Which one was it. Also, you wrote below:
The Pirates had guys named Henry Henry and David Davidson playing in this one. Two doubly-named players, Wow. Who else is in the Pirates clown car – I mean farm system? Dick Dickerson? Tom Thomas?
While your name is Richie Rich you putz.
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:16 am
Marky Mark,
Pirate fan or not, you’re what’s wrong with the Pirate’s organization as a whole. I’m not saying to be a bandwagon fan, quite the opposite in fact. 16 years of losing seasons yet you still continue to watch the games and may in fact go to them.
It’s time to send a message to the front office that their fire sales, poor management, and sloppy performances are not acceptable. If a product I liked starting going to the crapper I would demand an overhaul, not defending them losing to a community college.
Wake up and smell the coffee. They have one of the most beautiful ballparks in the nation…and I for one will not be going to until they get their heads on straight.
The author of this article has a great point, but your blind faith for a crappy organization won’t allow you to see it. They should take pointers from the front office of the Steelers…the parking lot between them isn’t that large.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:06 pm
The Pirates haven’t earned our support.They are without question one of the worst run teams in all of sports. The current owners give lip service to improving the product while lining their pockets with luxary tax money from teams like the Yankees, Cubs and Red Sox. They don’t deserve one more dime of my money until they show they deserve it.
What a waste of a great ball park. When I think of all those great teams of the 70’s and early 90’s that had to play their ball in cookie cutter Three Rivers while this group of mutts plays in maybe the best venue in the league it makes me come close to crying.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:08 pm
How can you compare a t-shirt mocking a Community College to the Rays shirt that touted their season AGAINST OTHER MLB TEAMS? Are you joking? You want to pummel your team, fine. But don’t hate the Rays casue they figured out how to win. And are built to last. Post season shirts are a rallying cry. Of course, I guess you’d have no real reason to know that. Have you ever seen one?
And this loss is a Who cares? moment in the grand scheme. You think the Pirates went all out? The Pirates had nothing to gain by winning this game. The CC, well, it made their season for goodness sakes.
I guess you would’ve been yelling just as loud if they had gone all out to win, saying things like “of course they won, how could they only win by # runs? We suck again!” Much easier and more fun to be negative though, right?
Enjoy your season…if you remember how.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:50 pm
I love all these posts. Do they not have irony where you live? Do you really think the shirts are meant to mock the community college? It’s a joke! It’s funny because the Pirates are so beaten down that being 10-0 against a community college is their claim to fame. It’s a fake rivalry! I can’t believe this is even getting attention on ESPN, as if Pirates fans are actually taunting a community college. It astounds me that people are too busy being offended and full of themselves to figure out the joke.
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Dave’s right. Anybody who thought these shirts represented legitimate “trash-talking” directed at Manatee needs to turn up their sarcasm detector a bit.
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:48 pm
It’s called sarcasm. Look it up.
Richie Rich? I thought you died and turned into Casper The Friendly Ghost.
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:16 pm
I had to check the date on this post to make sure it wasn’t an April Fools joke.
The most surprising thing here, though, is not that Pirates prospects can’t beat a comm college team — but that Pittsburgh actually has enough fans to troll baseball blogs.
April 4th, 2009 at 1:01 am
[...] baseball team lost to a community college. when do the steelers open training camp? http://homerderby.com/archives/4075 [...]
April 4th, 2009 at 4:27 am
MarkyMark is well known on Pittsburgh sports boards as a complete dickhead.
April 5th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
[...] Pittsburgh Pirates reach a new level of futilityIf you think the Pirates were going to finally turn things around this year after 16 consecutive losing seasons, think again – a team loaded with the Pirates’ top prospects lost to Manatee Community College by a score of 6-4.Tags: baseball pirates funny [...]
April 7th, 2009 at 12:47 am
All I have to say is Marky Mark spends too much time with that FUNKY BUNCH!
David Letterman has taken over my soul.