Home Run Derby

So Sports Illustrated went out put the Tampa Bay Rays on the cover … a cover which looks a lot like the front of a Comic Book.  There’s even a cameo by Bizarro Superman.

That’s just awesome cool … but it’s not the first time Baseball and Superheroes have crossed paths.  As much as Superheroes are the legends and myths of American Folklore, it makes sense that they’ve done crossovers with America’s Pasttime.  Superman, Batman, The Hulk, the X-Men, and Spider-Man have all played a little baseball in their day …

Let’s take a look …

SUPERMAN

In Action Comics #389, the big blue Boy Scout was on the cover taking a mighty swing …

only to be struck out by some kid with a goofy curveball.  

I call B.S. 

There is no way the Man of Steel doesn’t crush every freaking pitch thrown anywhere near the plate, unless the ball is made of Kryptonite and he’s playing inside a dome.  That kid is probably Mister Mxyzptlk or something.

I have no idea about the story inside, but I know that there’s a tribute to Babe Ruth in it.

Uhhh … where are the basepaths?

A lot more after the jump …

BATMAN AND ROBIN

This is too easy.  Robin is the catcher. 

There’s a reason they added Aunt Bea to the Batman TV series in the 60’s - to try to break up the questions about the relationship between Batman and Robin. 

You know … the questions about a young boy living with a man who wears tights, a mask, and a cape.  No concerns there.

I don’t think there’s actually any baseball references inside World’s Finest #3 … but they made Robin a catcher another time too.  Yes, Batman was the pitcher. 

Apparently, the Boy Wonder can’t hit.

WONDER WOMAN

The Amazon Princess apparently bats left-handed.   

Paving the way for equal rights everywhere (so long as you wear hooker boots) … here’s Wonder Woman hitting a championship-winning home run for some team called … the Pups.

Everybody at the plate looks like they’re watching a really high pop fly. 
I guess the wind was blowing out … at 75 MPH.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK

Life imitates art.  Again.

You try to tell me those two don’t look like Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens.  Mind you, you’ll have to imagine Bonds with hair and green skin and Clemens wearing a rhino suit.  I bet Clemens has done weirder stuff.

Anyway, in Incredible Hulk #435 (titled: The Unnatural) - Hulk finds himself on a baseball team.  Betty Ross gets Bruce Banner/Hulk to paint himself brown so he can play. 

Wow.  Even I have to suspend disbelief for this one.

One of the pitchers in the league is The Rhino.  Of course, Hulk and Rhino get into a shouting match about something (probably about HGH or whose wife’s fake boobs are bigger) and wreck the stadium. 

X-MEN

If there was ever a comic book series that could pull off a believable baseball game, X-Men would have to be it. 

There’s a ton of regular characters to fill out two rosters without a stretch.  And the shenanigans in a game featuring a bunch of super-powered adolescent mutants is just ripe for fun.

And the X-Men played baseball a lot of times … the first being in Uncanny X-Men Annual #7.   

They even adapted it to the X-Men Evolution cartoon show. 

DC SUPER-STARS

In Strange Sports #10 - DC Comics decided to do something when they weren’t smoking the funny little cigarettes and make up a baseball game played between a bunch of DC’s gallery of heroes and a bunch of villains …

Some villain named Sportsmaster kidnaps some heroes (including Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and Plastic Man) and makes them play The Joker, Lex Luthor, and a bunch of no-names in a baseball game for some reason or another.

First off … what the hell was DC thinking?  Second … who in the Hell is Sportsmaster and how does he kidnap some of the greatest DC Heroes of all time?   

I think Plastic Man saved the heroes from losing in the bottom of the ninth by catching a fly ball that would have cleared the fence.  Replay was not available. 

He also tricked a villain into getting out by disguising his foot as first base.

I hope all those DC artists and writers got fired. 

SPIDER-MAN

But the most camp baseball/superhero cross-over happened with Spider-Man. 

Anyone remember The Electric Company on PBS?  Well, they had a live-action segment with Spider-Man.  And what does your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man do on his day off?  He goes and cheers for the Mets.

Except trouble always seems to happen around Spider-Man.  In this case .. it’s that most evil of all villains … THE WALL … who, disguised as a section of the Shea Stadium outfield wall … runs forward to give the opposing team a cheap home run.

Don’t believe me?  Watch it for yourself.  Tell me if you recognize the umpire.

Can you believe my parents let me watch this crap when I was a kid? 

No wonder I’m so screwed up.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 23rd, 2008 at 7:56 am and is filed under Comic Books, MLB Weirdness, Sports Illustrated. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.