Home Run Derby

There’s lots of reasons to go to a Major League Baseball game …

But sometimes, that’s just not enough to make you pay $40 for a ticket and drink a beer for $7, especially if the team sucks … and MLB Teams know it.  So they offer trinkets and bawbles to get your butt in a seat.  Yep, we’re talking promotions and giveaways.  And we usually fall for it.

The majority of these handouts are overdone retreads of stuff like t-shirts and floppy hats and plastic doodads like keychains and flashlights and bobbleheads.  Bobbleheads are great, but unless you’re the table in front of Mike and Mike or Mottram and Steinz, how many do you need?

But sometimes, the team’s marketing squad does something creative … here are the best ones you can try to grab in 2008.

Joe Mauer Fishing Lure - Minnesota Twins (May 2)

Now this is cool.  In a state with 10,000 lakes, you’re gonna need something to catch bass with when the Twins are on the road.   

Mind you, I’m not sure how many times an MLB team has given away anything with six sharpened barbs on it before.  This could be a one-and-done event, because you just know someone’s gonna lose an eye from this thing.  Given out to the first 5,000 fans over the age of 18.

No boys, this will not help you catch anything like Mauer’s ex-girlfriend, former Miss USA Chelsea Cooley.  No girls, this will not help you catch Joe Mauer.

JJ Putz Soul Patch Night - Seattle Mariners (April 12)

The first 20,000 fans entering Safeco Field will get themselves a stick-on fake chin warmer … just like the one that the reigning AL Rolaids Relief Man sports.  At least I hope it’s fake and Putz hasn’t been farming them on his chinny-chin-chin all offseason. 

Considering how popular the Scott Spiezio stick-on soul patches are (were) in St. Louis, this could be a hot item.  That thing’s big enough to be a merkin.

It’s always a risk scheduling a player giveaway night against a good team.  Hopefully the Angels aren’t blowing out the M’s and Putz has a reason to pitch.

BBQ Grill Set – Houston Astros (July 2)

I don’t know what my favorite summer activity is, but grilling in the backyard and going to baseball games are in the top five.  Houston’s got them both covered.  This is a great takehome for 10,000 fans.  Last season they gave it away on Father’s Day.

Kudos to the ‘Stros … they left out the grill fork – which has no place at your grilling station anyway.  Don’t poke your meat, people.  You should pinch it, turn it and flip it. 

Sponsored by Kiolbassa, a San Antonio based Sausage company.

Powder Blue Debut – Kansas City Royals (April 12)

It’s the return of the POWDER BLUE UNIFORM to Major League Baseball!! 

If you’ll remember, this is a big freaking deal to Home Run Derby.  Powder Blue rocks.

Not only are the Royals gonna wear the jerseys on the field, but they’re gonna give 20,000 Powder Blue Billy Butler Jerseys away too.  It’s gonna look like the student section at a UNC Tarheels basketball game.

A’s Beerfest – Oakland Athletics (June 21st)

The game’s not until 6PM, but come to McAfee Coliseum from 11AM to 1PM and sample beers from 30 breweries and listen to live music.  Then go to the parking lot and tailgate.  Can you tailgate in Oakland?

Admission is free with a game ticket, but you’ve got to pay $10 for a souvenir acrylic mug and two tastings.  When you think about it, those might be the cheapest two beers you’ll ever buy at an MLB stadium.

Must be 21 to enter.  Something about drinking age or something.

Free Money Night – Cleveland Indians (June 28)

Matt Lesko couldn’t do it better. The Indians did this last season to great fanfare.  So it’s back.  When you enter the ballark, you’ll get an envelope.  In that envelope could be between $1 and $10,000.  The Indians will be giving away $50,000 dollars to 32,849 fans at this game. 

Mind you, 32,700 envelopes of that Free Money is $33,100 of “Progressive Field Fun Money” in $1 or $5 increments.  With one of those $5 coupons your beer will only cost $2. 

If Progressive Field holds 43,345 and they sell out that game, that means nearly 10,500 people will get nothing.  Not a sausage. 

CPA Appreciation Night – Florida Marlins (June 10)

You just knew the Marlins would be on this list.  They’ve gotta do something to get people in that park. 

But why is CPA Night so great?  Why does it make the list?   

Because that’s what the writers of Home Run Derby do in the time we’re not waxing poetic about the world’s greatest and weirdest sport.

Michael Cuddyer Mini-Walker – Minnesota Twins (June 28) First 10,000 fans

I think this is the best giveaway of the year and could spawn lots of imitators next season.  Who doesn’t love those little wind-up plastic walking things?  This would have been funnier if they had used Little Nicky Punto instead of Cuddyer – they could have used a life-sized version and no one would have noticed.

By the way, how freakin’ popular is Cuddyer in Twins’ Territory?  He’s got two other giveaways this season (a bat and a growth chart).  Joe Mauer only has the fishing lure, and Justin Morneau gets nothing.  Delmon Young already gets a bobblehead and he hasn’t even done anything to an umpire in Minnesota yet.

Tool Set – Florida Marlins (June 8th)

On Father’s Day, instead of something stupid like a necktie, the Marlins are going to hand out Tools.  That’s pretty sweet. 

There’s no pre-giveaway hype yet, but if the Marlins are clever, they’ll probably give away Five Tools in this set.  Get it … Five Tools?

Maybe some handy Dad can fix the Marlins in 2008. 

Cowbell – Tampa Bay Rays (April 26)

The Cowbell.  I don’t think there’s a more devastating weapon in the fans’ arsenal of noisemakers.  It can make 10,000 people sound like 40,000.  Which must be why the Rays give these things away.

Last year, the Yankees got the brunt of the Cowbell. 

This season the Rays will be hosting the Red Sox for Cowbell Night.  Maybe it will drown out all those Boston fans in Tampa that night.

I can’t imagine how much the Rays’ sportswriters must absolutely dread this night. 

And just in case You gotta have more Cowbell … you can also get one from the Florida Marlins on June 7th.

Think you’re good at picking Home Run hitters?  Play homerderby.com’s Home Run Derby Contest and find out … and compete for $2,500 in prizes while you’re at it.  See the Official Rules for details.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 4th, 2008 at 8:28 am and is filed under 2008 MLB, Athletics, Beer, Blue Jays, Bobbleheads, Mariners, Powder Blues, Rays, Royals, Twins. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.