Home Run Derby

Fans looking for Seattle Mariners bobbleheads have been given an early National Beheading Day present (it comes every September 2nd, get to know your obscure holidays, people).

To capitalize on the most fascinating of giveaways, the Mariners have made one ginormous life-sized bobblehead in the likeness of each of their four most popular players. Ichiro, Raul Ibanez, Felix Hernandez, and Kenji Johjima are the men featured in this auction of near replicas.

Each of these massive collectibles measures 6 feet in height, but more impressive is the striking resemblance each of these bobbleheads has … to the other three life-sized dolls.

The artists involved in this project were given pictures of two Hispanic players and two Japanese players … and produced four faces that look more like George Clooney than any of the four players.

I know bobbleheads rarely look exactly like the person they represent, but those are given away for free and later sold on eBay to the marginally insane for fairly reasonable prices. These mammoths are being auctioned with a starting bid of $2,500 each. For that kind of money, there should be more distinguishing features than the name at the base and the facial hair.

If this were the only flaw with the promotion, I would hail the Mariners’ front office as a group of geniuses, but they made one large mistake that confounds even me. Of the four auctions, Ichiro’s ended first.

Now, I’ve never been accused of being a financial wizard, but even I know that the longer you give people to bid on a great item like this, the more money you can get in exchange.

You always leave the best for last.

• It’s why Mariano Rivera’s a closer.
• It’s why the Rolling Stones are the last band to play.
• It’s why you don’t auction off a ‘67 Shelby GT500 Mustang and follow it up with a ‘71 Pinto.

If the Mariners had made the Ichiro bobblehead auction the longest, they would have allowed the final prices of the other auctions to drive up Ichiro’s.   If someone were willing to spend $3,000 on an Ibanez bobblehead, just imagine how much Ichiro’s would have garnered.  Instead, the Mariners ended the Ichiro auction at 5:00 pm on August 6th. The auction ended with 8 bids from 4 bidders and a winning bid of $2,765.  I find it hard to believe that anyone would be willing to spend more money for an Ibanez bobblehead than someone else spent for Ichiro’s, so I would never expect the other three to receive bids above $2,600.

So far I have been proven correct.  Of the three remaining auctions, Kenji Johjima’s has received only a minimum bid while the other two have seen no activity at all.  This spells bad news for the Mariners, but their mistake can be your gain.

If you have 2 and a ½ grand to blow on a collectible that is larger than either your girlfriend or your amazingly patient wife, you are in luck.  If you have the means but don’t care for the Mariners, don’t despair: if this auction receives enough attention, you can probably count on your favorite team following suit.

Just hope they have enough sense to make them look different from each other and hold the auctions in a rational order.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 9th, 2007 at 12:05 am and is filed under Bobbleheads, Ichiro, MLB Weirdness, Mariners. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.